


I'll pray for you (will you pray for me?)

by kusuriuri



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Empty Nest Syndrome, Eren & Jean are their weird neighbours, Erwin & Levi are married and Mikasa is their adopted daughter, Ghosts, Happy ending for both couples, Insanity, Levi is slowly losing his mind, M/M, Or Is he?, Paranoia, Reincarnation
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-24
Updated: 2016-04-02
Packaged: 2018-05-23 00:44:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 24,914
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6099286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kusuriuri/pseuds/kusuriuri
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Erwin and Levi's next door neighbors, Eren and Jean, are weird. They argue constantly and have loud, kinky sex that Erwin and Levi are forced to listen to.</p><p>But Levi feels there's something off about them. He's seeing things, hearing voices, and has weird memories of his husband missing his right arm. He feels like he's being haunted, or he's going crazy - and it's all the fucking neighbors' fault.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. He Remembers

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the movie What Lies Beneath. But the ending will be _completely_ different. The climax of that movie involves adultery and abuse, and I love Eruri and EreJean too much to include that, so I pretty much just re-wrote the movie. There will absolutely be a happy ending for both couples. If you've seen the movie, not to worry, you haven't been spoiled. This fic goes in a completely different direction.

The young couple next door were fighting again. Levi watched them thoughtfully through the window in his and Erwin's bedroom, hands crossed over his chest. He hadn't been _meaning_ to spy, he just noticed them while wandering aimlessly around the house during the day.

They were both male and quite young, probably in their 20's by the looks of them, arguing on their front lawn in loud voices and wild gestures. It wasn't the first time. Ever since they moved in three weeks ago, Levi often heard them arguing, their angry voices floating up to his and Erwin's window.

He felt Erwin come up behind him and wrap his arms around Levi's small waist, pressing his face into Levi's neck and trailing kisses across his skin. He relaxed into his husband's embrace, breathing out deeply and leaning into the kisses. He craved affection like this, wishing Erwin wasn't so busy with work all the time.

"They're arguing again," Levi said, his gaze still following their young neighbors from between the thin curtains.

"Who? The neighbors?"

"Mm," he hummed his affirmative as Erwin continued kissing the naked skin between Levi's neck and shoulders, not even looking up. "What's their name again?"

"Jaeger and Kirschtein, if I recall correctly. They recently got engaged. That's what they fight about, I think. Which surname to take."

Levi snorted in disbelief, "Stupid kids."

"Levi," Erwin scolded, "don't be rude."

"What? They can't hear me."

Erwin chuckled, his hands squeezing Levi's hips as he nibbled on his husband's ear. Levi jolted, ticklish as he squirmed away from the intimate touch. Erwin _knew_ what that did to him. He held him firmly and Levi's eyes fell closed as Erwin pressed a slow open-mouthed kiss to the corner of his lips, kissing a trail back to his ear. He opened his mouth and Levi felt his breath on his skin, shivering with sensitivity. "Stop spying on the neighbors," Erwin whispered, before blowing a raspberry right into Levi's ear.

Levi squealed, snorting with laughter and pushing the blond away. "You fucker!" He attempted to make a run for it as Erwin burst into manly giggles, but Erwin caught him by the waist and pulled the smaller man towards him, lifting up his shirt and pressing another loud, wet raspberry to Levi's stomach. He screamed as Erwin laughed noisily.

A door slammed open from across the hall as their daughter Mikasa stomped out, hair a mess, just awoken. Erwin and Levi immediately attempted to silence their giggles. She sent a scathing look at her fathers, who stared back from the awkward position they were in. She sighed dramatically, rolling her eyes and shuffled towards the bathroom to wash up with a muttering of 'gross old men' under her breath.

Today was the day.

 

 

 

 

  
"Bye, Dad." Mikasa put her arms around Levi, and he wrapped his arms around his beautiful daughter, squeezing her back. She was taller than him, he realized. _My baby girl is taller than me._

She was 19 and she was moving out. She had a job, college classes to go to, and now she even had an apartment of her own shared with her roommate, Annie. Since she had come to her fathers with the news, Levi had known he was going to miss her when the time came. But he hadn't realized just how hard this was going to be. Only now, standing in her new apartment, boxes of Mikasa's belongings surrounding them and Erwin waiting for his turn at a hug, did he realize just how much he didn't want to let her go.

Erwin and Levi had adopted her 17 years ago after her parents died. Levi was biologically her cousin, and only met her for the first time at her parents' funeral. He and Erwin hadn't even been thinking of adopting at the time, even though they were old enough to be her fathers. He had so many doubts. _I could never be a good father. I'm the last person she should be left in the care of. What the fuck are you people thinking?_ He never had a father of his own, how could he ever become a good one himself? Erwin had been the one to convince him in the end. Assured him that he would make a wonderful father; his heart was so big. Looking back at it now, adopting Mikasa along with marrying Erwin had been the best decisions of his life.

He was her Papa. No matter how much he disliked being called that. But at this moment, with her body weight shifting in his grasp in an attempt to end the hug, he held on tightly, not wanting to let go of his baby girl. If it meant she wouldn't leave, he didn't mind being called Papa.

"Dad..." she said softly, wriggling out of the hug awkwardly with a small smile. Levi felt his eyes prickling.

"Lee..." Erwin put a hand on his back, separating him from their daughter gently with a knowing smile. Levi let go reluctantly, but kept a firm grip on her hands and looked into his daughter's face. He opened his mouth, then closed it again, not sure what he wanted to say. She looked exasperated, but fond.

His eyes were still prickling uncomfortably and he let go of her hands, looking at his feet. He blinked once, twice, willing the tears away and crossed his arms over his chest, feigning calm. "Make sure you eat cooked meals. I can come over and cook for you every few days if you need me to. Cooking can be a hassle and I don't want you skipping out-"

"Dad," she interrupted softly, a smile in her voice, "I'll be fine. I promise."

He pursed his lips, giving a tiny nod. A silence followed where he stared at the ground, his eyes burning and trying to ignore the fact that they were supposed to be leaving. It wasn't too late for her to change her mind. She was only 19, maybe they should wait a few more years for her to move out. She says she can cook for herself, but what about cleaning? Mikasa can't clean for shit, this was a terrible idea, they should really re-think this-

Levi's thoughts were interrupted by Erwin's knowing chuckle, and Levi's head snapped to his husband as Mikasa was pulled into Erwin's embrace. He gave her a kiss to her forehead and said, "You'll be fine." The statement was really more for Levi's sake than for Mikasa, "Just call if you need anything."

Mikasa nodded, smiling at her father as they pulled away from each other and Levi narrowed his eyes. Erwin looked over to him with that stupid knowing smile, car keys in hand, ready to leave. He gestured with his head toward the door. Give our daughter some space, the gesture said. She needs time to settle in, to start unpacking and beginning her own life. Away from her fathers. Away from Levi.

He knew she was capable. She was responsible, mature, sensible. She was Levi's daughter, of course she was. He knew that this was what she wanted. But he just didn't want to leave her. Didn't want to begin this new chapter of his and Erwin's lives with an empty nest.

He didn't want to, but knew it was time.

He pulled Mikasa into another final hug, and he felt more than heard the sighs from both his daughter and husband. It lasted a good ten seconds before Erwin gently pulled him away, steering them both to the door and Levi couldn't help twisting his body awkwardly to just gaze at his daughter's face the entire way, his eyes burning.

"Bye, sweetie," Erwin said, "We love you," and Levi felt his lip quiver.

"I love you both, too!" Mikasa called through the doorway, and as soon as Erwin closed the door behind them and began leading them towards the car, a wet sob burst from Levi's throat as tears began streaming down his face.

Erwin put his arm around his husband, kissing the top of his head as Levi swiped angrily at his eyes, sobbing uncontrollably. "Oh, Lee... Baby, it's okay. She'll be okay."

"...I know," Levi said gruffly, fighting back another sob, "I just miss her already."

Erwin smiled fondly, reaching into his coat pocket for a handkerchief and handing it to Levi. He buried his face into his husband's hair, kissing him, "Me too, darling."

Levi blew his nose into the handkerchief loudly, startling the group of pigeons nearby. He sniffed pitifully, dabbing at his pink nose and eyes, and laced his other hand with Erwin's.

 

 

 

 

 

The house felt so quiet. Levi wandered past Mikasa's empty room wearing nothing but one of Erwin's over-sized shirts and peeked in, before closing the door quietly and continuing on to his and Erwin's bedroom. It was too quiet. He could feel the lack of Mikasa's presence and it made him want to cry again. He wasn't looking forward to tomorrow, when Erwin would be back at work and Levi really would be all alone in the house. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to handle it.

He entered their bedroom, and smiled tenderly at his husband on the bed; all shirtless with messy hair and reading glasses, computer on his lap as he typed something work-related. He looked up at Levi and smiled, "Hey, Lee."

Levi's face softened, climbing into bed and pushing up against his husband, hand on his chest. He pressed a kiss to his cheek, resting a head on his shoulder as Erwin finished up what he was doing quickly and closed his computer. The blond put his arm around Levi, pulling him closer and kissing him, "How are you feeling?"

Levi shrugged, playing with the string on Erwin's pajama bottoms absently, "I'm okay."

Erwin hummed, kissing him again and Levi met his lips this time, wrapping his arms around his neck. Their lips met wetly and their mouths opened hotly, breaths mingling. They hadn't had sex in a while; Erwin too tired from work and Levi busy with helping Mikasa prepare for the move, and so they were both a little more eager and horny than usual. The blond pulled his husband onto his lap so Levi was straddling one of Erwin's thighs, his hands sneaking playfully up Levi's shirt and fondling him. He bit into the smaller man's lips and sucked, and Levi moaned lowly, his hips gyrating a little on Erwin's thigh, shirt being pushed up his hips.

A loud moan was heard from next door.

Their kiss broke off immediately and Levi's mouth and eyes went wide into an 'O' shape as Erwin blinked slowly in surprise.

Another moan, and another. The rhythmic thumping of a headboard.

"Oh my god," Levi said, and Erwin looked like he was going to burst into giggles. He got up and went over to the window, peeking out at the neighbors' house.

The moaning continued, sounding desperate and Levi was sure he heard an, ' _Oh god, Jean, yes_ ' a few times. "Holy shit," Levi bit his lip, trying not to laugh. Erwin was doing the same, but not quite so well, his shoulders shaking with poorly concealed laughter as he drew the curtains, sliding the window closed.

"Wait!" Levi said, and Erwin looked at him, pausing with the window half-closed, "Keep it open." Levi's lips quirked sultrily, and the sound of their neighbors' bed banging roughly continued.

"Are you serious?" Erwin looked amused, a single eyebrow raised, but Levi just leaned back on his hands, his bare legs falling open slowly as he looked up at his husband through his eyelashes. Erwin's gaze dropped between Levi's legs, then returned to his face, his mouth slightly open, "...You think you can be louder?"

Levi smiled saucily as Erwin walked over slowly, Levi's feet reaching out and pulling the blond between his legs, sliding his shirt up his hips to reveal more skin, "I _know_ I can be louder."

Erwin chuckled, pressing his groin against the smaller man's bare cock, rubbing his hips slowly and watching Levi's pale skin redden underneath him. He ran his hand through Levi's hair, climbing on top of him and making him mewl with the rough fabric of his pants against Levi's pink cock.

A particularly loud squeal of _JEAN_ made Levi grin breathlessly, inky-black hair fanning out beneath him and he palmed Erwin's bulge, sliding those pants down his husband's hips. He bit his lip sexily, and he felt Erwin's cock twitch in his hand at the sight, whispering, " _Make me scream with this huge cock of yours_."

 

 

 

 

 

Erwin had already left for work by the time Levi woke up the next morning. He lay there for a few moments, staring at the empty space where Erwin sleeps and ran his hand over the cool fabric. His hips were pleasantly sore and he ached somewhere deep inside him. The sunlight filtered prettily through the curtains and onto their bed, and Levi felt so peaceful that he could almost fall asleep again. He breathed out, closing his eyes for a moment, before getting out of bed.

Erwin had made breakfast for him and left sugar and teabags out even though Erwin didn't drink tea. Levi ate alone at the kitchen table in Erwin's shirt and listened to the birds twitter outside, before washing his dishes and going upstairs slowly to change.

He didn't have a job. He hadn't worked since the accident, and during the day he more often than not found that he had nothing to do with himself but clean, garden and occasionally work-out. When Mikasa still lived at home she would be gone during the day at school or her part-time job, but Levi never felt lonely. Maybe the knowledge that his daughter would be home in a few hours was comforting. But now with Mikasa moved out, Levi wandered slowly around the house barefoot, running his hands along the walls and listening to the silence of their house. It was an uncomfortable silence. A silence that Mikasa would not be able to break for him anymore. His eyes lingered on Mikasa's bedroom. He felt his eyes burning and stopped in the middle of the hallway, bringing both hands to his eyes and just breathing deeply. He blinked rapidly and sniffed, overcoming the urge to cry with pure willpower.

He turned around harshly, going downstairs and into the living room, and ran his hand over the books on the bookshelf, stopping at one of their family photo albums. He pulled it out, sitting down in the middle of his living room carpet and began flipping through the album.

Mikasa graduating. He smiled gently, running his fingers over the photo of Mikasa and Erwin beaming at the camera, his husband's arm proudly around their daughter.

Mikasa's birthday parties. Blowing out candles. First car. First day of high school. First day of middle school. First day of elementary school. Kindergarten. His eyes watered and he willed the emotion away. Mikasa at 2-years-old, when they first adopted her. A photo of her sleeping peacefully and Levi lying next to her. Just gazing at her. He ran his fingers slowly over the 2-year-old Mikasa.

A photo taken a moment later, where a much younger Erwin had gotten in between his two precious ones and taken a selfie, a much younger Levi looking annoyed and fond at the same time.

Their honeymoon in Germany. Erwin and Levi's wedding day. Levi stared at himself in the photos. He had been positively glowing. Neither he nor Erwin could stop smiling in any of the photos and Levi couldn't help doing the same as he looked at them one by one. Cutting the cake. Hanji, Mike and Nanaba photo-bombing. Saying their vows. Levi trying to say his through his tears. Their kiss. Their first dance. Erwin searching beneath Levi's clothes for the garter. Mike getting drunk and sobbing about how happy he was for them. Hanji and Nanaba getting equally as drunk and singing loudly on the table.

Levi realized he was grinning and felt silly, but couldn't really stop. He flipped through the album further back in time. Erwin and Levi lying in bed together taking selfies with their old-fashioned 80's camera. Levi spread out seductively on Erwin's car. Erwin making stupid faces. And...

Levi frowned. He didn't remember this. A photo of Erwin receiving an award for...something. Levi was in the picture, a neutral expression on his face. His 'photo face' when he was in public. The next photo of both him and Erwin at the same party. He couldn't remember this one either.

He flipped another page.

Holiday photos, labelled _Paris_. They went to Paris? Both he and Erwin in all the photos, in front of historical buildings, kissing in front of the Eiffel Tower. He blinked, flipping through more pages. He had no memory of going to Paris, and yet he was in all the photos.

Further back, more photos he didn't remember. Beach photos. Parties. Disneyland. He flipped forward again, to their wedding. He remembered this. But before that....

He realized he was breathing rapidly, and closed his eyes, remembering his wedding. Before their wedding they had bought a new car. Before that he remembered their horrible 80's camera and Erwin taking it everywhere. Before that he remembered them moving into their new apartment. Before that he remembered a veggie patch. Erwin had insisted he plant him a garden, since Erwin himself couldn't. Not with that one arm of his bitten off. Before that the Walls coming down. The war ending. His squad of children finally able to act like children, not soldiers. That kid with the bright green eyes hugging him and crying like a child and thanking him...

Levi's eyes flew open, breathing hard. His head hurt. Walls and his squad and...what was it again? A veggie patch? He pressed his hand to his head. No, he was having trouble remembering their trip to Paris. That's right. He looked down at the photos. He was trying to remember these photos of Paris, and the party where Erwin got an award, and then... His memory was fuzzy. The strangest image of Erwin missing his right arm crossed his mind and his head throbbed, his eyes burning.

What was he thinking about again?

He groaned softly, massaging his temple. He flipped the album closed, pushing it off his lap. He needed air all of a sudden, his chest feeling tight. He couldn't breathe.

He pushed through the back door, stumbling out into his backyard and hunching over, trying to calm his breathing. His nose was stuffy and his head ached, a lump in his throat. He steadied, straightening up and breathing in the fresh air. This happened sometimes, he just needed to breathe. He knew he had some memory problems since the accident. He just hadn't realized such large chunks of his memory were gone.

Mikasa moving out had put him in an emotional state where he was constantly on the verge of crying, and he supposed it probably affected his memory recollection. Erwin would be heartbroken to hear he had forgotten a trip to Paris. They probably had good memories there, and Levi had just gone and forgotten them, like they were not important at all. The lump in his throat grew tighter.

Levi's breathing had calmed down considerably and he just stood, closing his eyes and taking deep breaths. The sound of his neighborhood was quiet and peaceful and he wasn't sure how long he stood there, willing away the lump in his throat, assuring himself that on a better day, he would remember.

It was only when he heard the soft sound of sobbing that he opened his eyes.

He focused, listening intently. Unmistakably, the sound of someone crying reached his ears and he swiveled his head confusedly in the direction it was coming from. Next door. It was coming from next door.

A fence separated their house from the neighbors, and Levi ventured towards the sound he heard coming from the other side of the fence. The sobbing was clearly male, sniffing pitifully every now and then, and Levi approached the fence, grasping the top and pulling himself up on his tiptoes cautiously to peek over at the neighbors' backyard.

One of the two young men who lived there was seated with his back to Levi on the edge of a garden, his shoulders shaking, hands raking through his mahogany hair. Levi's brows furrowed. As rude and uncaring as he came across to strangers, Levi had a tender and sensitive heart, one only those closest to him knew of. The figure of this boy sobbing made him ache.

Levi opened his mouth, unsure, "...Hello?"

The boy jumped so harshly that Levi jerked in surprise, hands slipping on the wood of the fence and he dropped to the ground ungracefully.

"Fuck!" he spat, glowering down at his scraped hands. There would be a blister in there, he was sure. "Shit, sorry, I must have scared you," he projected his voice over the fence, but heard no reply. He was sure he could hear someone moving though. He shook his hand to stop the throbbing and ventured again, "Hello?"

He saw dark hair moving close to the fence through the wooden boards and tread closer, squinting at the movement and pushing hair out of his eyes. He pressed up against the fence, peering through the gap.

"Uh... Kirschtein? No, wait... you're Jaeger, right?" The head of brown moved past and Levi scrunched up his nose, "Hello?" a pause, "Are you alright?"

He could see their small garden, and his eye darted around, searching for that mahogany hair...

When a bright green eye appeared in his line of vision, staring directly at him.

"Holy shit!" Levi jerked away from the fence. The green-eyed young man backed up a little, so Levi could see a bit of his hair and nose now. He sobbed, the skin around his eyes pink.

"I can't," his breath caught on another sob, "I...It's...too much...I can't _fucking_ breathe." The boy covered his mouth with his hands, curling in on himself, "I'm so fucking scared."

Levi frowned, forgetting to chew him out for scaring the shit out of him like that. This was more important. His tone was stern when he asked, "What do you mean? What are you scared of?"

The boy wasn't facing the fence anymore, raking through his hair with his fingers roughly, "That I'm gonna just... disappear!"

Levi's heart ached, and yet he was still so confused. He didn't understand, but something was happening to this boy, to the point where he was crying all alone in his backyard, and Levi needed to help him. He ground his teeth. "What can I do?"

The green-eyed boy didn't answer, just whimpering into his hands, and Levi just _felt_ so strongly, saying a bit louder, "Jaeger? What can I do?"

The boy perked at his own surname, turning to look at Levi through the hole in the fence with those eyes the colour of the ocean, and his whimpering calmed to small hiccups that made his thin body look fragile, "I've never even met you," he said quietly.

Levi felt a stab of guilt and he regretted not agreeing with Erwin when he had suggested going to greet the neighbors to welcome them. "I know, I'm... sorry, I just... my husband and I are busy, and we just..."

The boy's eyes changed focus, like he had suddenly derailed his train of thought with another one, and he looked at the fence separating them, speaking airily, "This fence..." he had a deranged look in his eyes as he muttered the rest of his sentence, getting up and moving out of Levi's line of vision.

"What?" He heard movement and the boy saying something, perhaps to himself, "Jaeger? Look, are you... okay? Do you want to come over for a coffee or something?"

Levi heard the sound of a car and Jaeger shuffled noisily on the other side of the fence, "Oh fuck, he's back!" His voice sounded so desperate that Levi forced himself back on his tiptoes to look over the fence again, "I'm sorry, please just forget everything I said!"

He saw the boy bolting back towards his house, and Levi wanted to yell something after him, help him, do _anything_ , but stopped himself. He saw a car pull into Jaeger's driveway, probably Kirschtein, the fiance, and Levi lowered himself down slowly, so as not to draw attention to the movement. He peeked over the top of the fence, watching the Kirschtein boy get out of his car and walk up to his house, and Levi's heart thumped wildly with fear for the boy with the ocean eyes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're worried about EreJean being abusive, don't worry. Things are not as they seem. Just wait and see.
> 
> Tell me what you think. Or leave kudos. Whatever floats your boat.


	2. He Watches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit happens and Levi freaks out appropriately. Erwin means well, but Levi feels both insignificant and needy when he's with the love of his life. Shit (perhaps) happens with Jean and (perhaps) Eren too, but Levi can't be too sure.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fellow EreJean fans. Some bad stuff may-or-may-not happen in this chapter, but stay with me here. A reminder that things are not at all what they seem.

"He sounded terrified, Erwin."

The couple sat at their table later that night, eating dinner by candlelight. It was somewhat habit since they moved in together all those years ago. They would try to eat meals together as often as possible; to spend time together and tell each other about their day. Not that Levi usually did much during the day that he could talk about.

"Terrified of what?" Erwin took a swig of red wine from his glass, leaning back in his chair.

"Of..." Levi's tone was as skeptical as he felt, "...Kirschtein... I think."

"Is that what he _said_?"

"Well, he fucking _implied_ it," Levi snapped, his dinner long forgotten. He wasn't being taken seriously. Erwin chuckled in that infuriating way, where it made Levi feel like a child. As if Erwin was just humoring him. " _What_ , Erwin? I want to go over there. Let's just... go over there."

Erwin sighed exasperatedly, "Why?"

"To see if that kid is okay!"

"Honey, we're not going to march over to the new neighbors and... accuse them-"

"That's not what I was fucking suggesting-"

"-especially when they're probably going to keep us up all night with their young, loud, kinky sex," Erwin chuckled, taking another sip of wine.

Levi wasn't as amused at the situation as Erwin apparently was. "Erwin. What if something happened to him. I would never be able to... fucking _forgive_ myself if..."

"...Lee," Erwin looked at him with those stupid gentle eyes and it made Levi feel desperate and small. "Babe. People argue. People fight. Just look at us; we do it all the time." He reached out to touch Levi's cheek, "It's not our place."

Levi didn't look at him, jerking away from Erwin's touch. He pushed his chair back, picking up his half-eaten plate of food and storming away from the table.

Erwin exhaled with a bitter smile, changing the subject, "I have to work tonight."

"I know," Levi's voice was harsh, throwing his half-eaten dinner into the rubbish bin.

Erwin picked up his own dishes and walked slowly over to the kitchen, "I know it's probably really lonely for you in the house during the day with Mikasa gone. I wish I didn't have to work in the evenings, too." He just wanted to talk about something else. He hated to see Levi stressed out and upset.

His husband, however, was not finished, "I just wish you could have _seen_ him, Erwin." Levi had straightened back up, placing his hands frustratedly on the kitchen counter. "He was..." Levi shook his head, unable to find the right words to describe Jaeger's demeanor from that afternoon.

Erwin gazed at his husband. One of the things he loved about Levi was how unexpectedly sensitive he was to others' feelings. That natural maternal instinct he had--even towards strangers, it seemed. He sighed, giving in, "I'll tell you what. I'll give the other departments a call. You remember Nile, right?"

Levi nodded warily. He did. The rat-faced motherfucker who always looked down his nose at Levi. Apparently being a retired-dancer was too artsy-fartsy a career for a _man_ like Levi, and it warranted others' disrespect. Not that Levi _wanted_ Nile's respect.

"I'll see what I can find out about Kirschtein," Erwin continued. "He works in the financial department downstairs from me, I think."

A pause, "...Okay." Levi eyed his husband suspiciously for a few silent moments, surprised that Erwin had suggested it. He crossed his arms over his chest, "Really? You'll actually do it. You're not just saying that to make me shut up?"

Erwin huffed amusedly, "Really, Levi. I will." His tone was genuine. A hand reached up to Levi's hair, tucking a strand behind his ear and he leaned down to press a chaste kiss to Levi's lips.

As he turned around, heading to his office to get back to work, Levi couldn't help but smile slightly at Erwin's retreating back.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A few days later, Levi found himself on the Jaeger-Kirschtein porch, a welcome gift-basket in hand. He may be a gay man, but why was it that the gift-basket made him feel... _extra_ gay? Was it because he had put it together himself and taken time to choose a cloth that matched, perpetuating the stereotype that gay men were good at interior design and shit? Because while the gift-basket did look divine if he did say so himself, he still felt stupid holding the colourful assortment of wine and other treats.

But he needed an excuse to be there.

He had been knocking on the door repeatedly and waiting for an answer for a while, trying to peek into the house discreetly. All the windows had the curtains drawn, and he couldn't hear any footsteps inside despite there being two cars on their property. Two cars meant both Jaegar and Kirschtein should be home, but their whole house was silent. It was unnerving.

Levi shifted his weight to his other foot. There was a large brown box near the front door, not unlike a box one would use when moving house. He opened the flap gingerly, feeling nosy, and read the words _EREN_ and _CLOTHES_ in horrible chicken-scratch, written on the cardboard.

The porch went around the side of the house as well and Levi stared hard at the silent front door. He really could not hear the inhabitants inside. He tiptoed across the porch, feeling nervous and guilty that he was literally using a welcome gift-basket as an excuse to snoop around as he turned the corner. His eyes flitted erratically, taking in his surroundings and watching carefully for any movement. He stopped suddenly when he spotted a rumpled object in the middle of the wooden flooring of the porch. He approached it slowly, eyebrows furrowing.

Is that... a shirt?

An off-white, wrinkled shirt, no buttons. Instead, the neckline a sharp V and a brown string looped through, holding the neckline together. It looked worn, slightly faded. A suspicious rust-coloured stain on the front.

The thought of touching a stranger's worn, unwashed shirt made Levi wrinkle his nose in disgust, but he picked it up with his thumb and index finger, examining it. The stain was splattered across the front, reddish-brown in colour, and Levi couldn't help but think it looked a bit like--

No. He shook his head, as if to get rid of the grisly thought, and placed the shirt carefully back down where he found it. He glimpsed around him, straightening up and subtly checking if anyone had seen him. He felt unnecessarily nervous. He hadn't really done anything wrong, but for some reason felt like he had.

He stepped off their porch, returning back down their driveway and towards his own home, looking back over his shoulder at the mysteriously quiet house. He felt uneasy, a strange feeling of dread in his stomach.

When he looked up at his own house, the figure standing at his door made him stop. "Hey, asshole! What are you doing?" he yelled, and the figure in front of his door turned at the sound of his voice, a huge smile breaking over their maniacal face.

Hanji.

"I was looking for you, Levi!" they beamed, trotting over to him with their arms out, engulfing him with their body when he approached. His face softened a bit, letting them hug him. They pulled away, eyeing the gift basket in his arms, "What are you up to?"

He hesitated, looking down at the basket, "I was just... trying to drop off this welcome... thing... to the new neighbors." He held it out away from him as if it was a strange creature in his arms, and not an assortment of fine treats.

"Oh, they're not home?"

"Mm... guess not." He looked over his shoulder at the looming house next door.

"Levi, did you make that gift-basket?"

He shrugged. He had. He had nothing better to do during the day.

Hanji threw their head back and cackled. Levi just stared, unimpressed, knowing better than to be offended.

They wiped a tear from their eye, explaining, "It's funny, 'cos you're gay. And you hate gift-baskets. But there's the stereotype that all gay men would be good at that stuff, and you hate those stereotypes, but like... you actually _are_ insanely good at it. I mean, look at this! Is this _hand-made_?"

"Shut up, Hanji," he quipped, walking past them towards his house, but his tone was not angry. _Yes, it was hand-made, shut the fuck up_. "Are you staying?"

"Nah, just stopping by to see how you're doing." Hanji followed him towards his porch, and they sat down together, the gift-basket at Levi's feet.

"I'm fine," Levi said, looking down at his thin toes, and he could feel Hanji's eyes on him.

"...Really?"

"What the fuck is that supposed to mean." Shit, that sounded way more defensive than he intended.

"Levi. Your only daughter just moved out of home. We all know how much you doted on her in that weird, round-about way of yours." Their tone was gentle, "It's _okay_ if you're not okay."

Levi was silent, continuing to stare down at his feet.

"And I mean, it's been like... a whole year since the accident. It was around this time of year, wasn't it? All this stress stuff... stressing you out. You're only human, Levi."

He opened his mouth, before closing it again. There was a long silence, and he could tell Hanji was waiting for him to talk. About whatever he wanted to. He did feel stressed. So incredibly stressed, and emotional for no reason; restless with nothing to do and just... useless. "...So far my fucking amazing big task for the week was taking pictures of my roses. And taking a shit."

"Wait, you plant roses?" Hanji sniggered. "You're so gay."

"I'm so..." Levi trailed off, unsure of what the right words were. Lonely. He was so lonely. He hated himself for feeling this way; Mikasa was all grown up, capable of taking care of herself. And Erwin... Erwin worked so hard. But _god_ , did he miss his husband sometimes. Erwin was his rock, the man who gave him _everything_. But he felt like Erwin wasn't even looking at him sometimes. He was such a child for feeling needy for the blond while said husband was the reason they were able to live in such comfort. But he did. He yearned for Erwin's attention, his affection, so badly.

He didn't say any of this to Hanji. He settled with silence, but Hanji caught it. Hanji caught everything.

"...Maybe you should think about getting a job," they said. "Nothing serious, just something part-time, like... ironing, or something."

Levi had thought about it often. Not about ironing, but about starting work again. He needed something to do during the day. Needed something to occupy himself with while waiting for Erwin to get home. "I dunno if Erwin likes the idea of me working again, though." _Not since the accident._

Hanji shook their head, "He's your husband, Levi, not your father. If you feel like you want to work, then talk to him about it. I'm sure he'll understand if you tell him how stressed you are without something to do during the day, and how lonely you feel while you're home without him."

He hadn't said anything about feeling stressed and lonely, but they had gotten that from his expression, he supposed. He was used to being read like a book by Hanji.

"Anyway," they got up, "I'm off. I'm glad to see you're alright."

Levi got up too, "Sure you don't want to stay for dinner?" He couldn't deny he was hoping they would say yes.

He knew they could tell by the knowing smile on their lips.

"Sorry, I can't. I want to, but I gotta get back to the lab." They truly did look disappointed that they couldn't stay, "Oh, I almost forgot." They reached into their bag and pulled out a small pouch, "Kombucha mushroom tea. It ' _soothes heartache and promotes psychic wellness'_." They handed it over to Levi, and he took it hesitantly.

"What is this shit, your weird fucking psychic voodoo?" he brought it up to his nose, surprised by the pleasant aroma.

"Nope. It's Moblit's weird psychic voodoo. Says it'd be good for you."

"Mm-hmm," he doesn't sound convinced, but accepts the gift anyway. He would never turn down tea.

"Anyway, I'll get going." Hanji wrapped their long arms around him again, and this time he returned the hug.

They hadn't really done anything in particular, but Levi felt better already.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
Later that night, a storm came in and Levi couldn't sleep. He had regular bouts of insomnia, something he had experienced throughout his whole life and had learned to live with. It was about 2am and he sat up in bed, playing solitaire on his laptop absently while Erwin snored softly next to him.

There was a particularly loud crash of thunder, and the power in their whole house went out. His laptop screen went black, and he snapped his head over to the window, realizing rain was probably coming in. He stumbled out of bed, hurrying over and closing it, when something caught his eye from outside.

He peered out through the darkness and heavy rain, at the next door neighbors. Kirschtein's car was parked horribly in the driveway, running off the road and making a large skid mark in the mud beside it, as if he had parked it in a rush.

Levi frowned, leaning closer to the window and trying to get a better look through the rain. He saw what looked like the Kirschtein boy come out of the house, carrying a large, heavy-looking bag.

So large, in fact, that it could probably fit an entire human body.

Levi's entire body went cold. His jaw was slack as he pressed up against the window, watching Kirschtein handle the large bag clumsily and put it into the open trunk of his car. He slammed it shut - Levi noticed he was drenched in rain; no umbrella, no raincoat, nothing - before hurrying towards the front of the car.

"Erwin," Levi hissed, glancing over at the sleeping form of his husband. No answer. "Erwin..!" Still nothing. He took his eyes off the scene outside and faced the bed completely, no longer pressed up against the window, "ERWIN!"

Erwin jolted up in bed, hair mussed and drool on his chin, "What," he looked completely dazed. "What's happened!?"

"Come here! Fuck, you have to see this!" Levi's eyes were wide as saucers, dark bags under his eyes standing out starkly against his pale face. He looked terrified, a cold sweat covering his skin.

Erwin scrambled out of bed, rushing to Levi's side, "What's the matter?!"

Levi was breathing hard, turning back to the window and peering out again, "Look."

Erwin squeezed beside him, looking in the direction Levi was pointing, at the neighbors' dark backyard, "What? What is it?!"

"Just _loo_ -" Levi stopped, mouth half-open.

There was nothing at all in the neighbors' backyard. No car. No Kirschtein. And definitely no body-sized bag.

It was so dark out there, and Levi squinted in confusion, not realizing he was still pointing at nothing.

"What, Lee?!" Erwin was blinking confusedly, scanning the area for anything out of the ordinary, still panicked that something was wrong, but not sure what, "Levi?!"

"I..I." Levi stuttered, his thoughts in disarray. Lightning struck, lighting up their neighborhood outside and showing clearly their neighbors' empty driveway. There was nothing there at all. His head spun, trying to get a grip, eyes glassy, "I thought I saw... I... uh..."

"What?!"

Levi suddenly felt like a child being scolded, a chill wracking his small frame. His eyes were still wide, "I... I thought I saw... something..."

Erwin was looking at him in such exasperation, such tired bewilderment, and Levi had never felt so small. The blond sighed and ran a hand through his sleep-mussed hair. He looked exhausted. He worked hard.

"Christ, Levi." He rubbed his face with his hand, heading back to bed while Levi just stood there by the window, staring and trying to breathe. Another shiver wracked his frame.

Lightning lit up outside again, and all Levi could do was stare at the empty driveway next door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Remember: Levi is an unreliable narrator.


	3. He Feels

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Shit hits the fan and Levi freaks the fuck out. Erwin gives him some sexy time, and all is right in Levi's world. Until it's not.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning for a bit of gore sort of? Levi cuts himself with glass (not on purpose). The description of that might make some squeamish.
> 
> Also smut. Warning for Erwin giving his Levi some loooove.

The next day had Levi out in his backyard, pulling himself up on his tiptoes to just peek over the top of their fence into the neighbors' yard.

There was no car in their driveway. Levi stared at the empty strip of road leading up to the house, brows furrowed. His gaze drifted to the windows facing him; all the curtains were drawn. There was no sign of movement--of anyone's presence at all.

His gaze fell back to the driveway, where he narrowed his eyes at the large skid mark in the mud beside it.

He stared at it for a long time.

Then lowered himself back to the ground as his arms began to ache. On the way down, his hand must have slipped, because a sharp pain ran across the skin of his wrist. He swore loudly. He held up his arm to examine it, swearing again under his breath at the blood.

He headed back to his front door, ignoring the throbbing in his wrist and trying to prevent any blood dripping onto the porch.

Just as he reached his hand out to grasp the doorknob, the door slid open by itself.

Levi paused with his hand in mid-air. He tested the lock on the door a few times, frowning disapprovingly. It didn't seem to be broken. He must have... forgotten to close it properly on his way out. Strange; he never did that. He entered his house, making a point of closing the door firmly behind him.

He got a tissue, dabbing at his wrist and scanning his house from the entryway, feeling uneasy. He looked around. He felt like... someone was watching him. Like the furniture had eyes. He looked to his right, into Erwin's office, the closest room to the front door. He felt uncomfortable.

He walked slowly into the office, towards Erwin's desk. There was something... He paused, listening. Whispers that he could hear, so soft that he could not make them out. He looked behind him, frowning deeply, straining his ears. That was not his imagination; he could definitely hear someone's voice. Where was that coming from?

He faced forward again, pausing at Erwin's wooden desk. The curtains fluttered into his vision, and he looked at the open window. The wind? Surely it was the wind.

He went over to the window, winding it closed and feeling oddly silly. God, he was acting like a crazy person. He went to turn back around, knocking a photo frame over in the process. He tutted, annoyed at his own clumsiness. Reaching for the frame and standing it back up, he gave it a brief glance.

It was a photo of himself and Erwin from years ago, the ocean spread out behind them. Erwin had his arm around Levi and they were both smiling. Levi's gaze dropped to Erwin's right arm at his side, finding it strange that he had it in this picture. He could have sworn that by the time this picture was taken, Erwin had already lost his ar--

He stopped. What?

What had he just been thinking about?

He frowned. When had... Erwin lost his arm? He still had his arm.

So when did... a pause, memories jumbled. Levi attempted to sort through them.

Why would he think that? Where had that thought even...

Behind his eyelids, a memory of his husband flittered through his mind. The ocean behind them, Erwin's empty sleeve billowing in the wind. The memory was in pieces, gray, like static. But it can't have been a memory. Erwin _had_ both arms.

But why was it that he remembered the way he felt when he looked at this one-armed Erwin? Remembered the adoration he felt for this Erwin. He looked at him with the same fondness as he did now. There was such an intense ache, a longing in his chest. The same, and yet so different. He had loved this one-armed Erwin for a long time. The closeness they shared, it was all the same as now. Yet so very, very different. He remembered wanting to see the ocean. He remembered it being meaningless unless this one-armed Erwin were there, too.

The memory was clear, yet in fragments.

His head was throbbing again, and Levi let go of the photo frame, looking away from it quickly. Something was wrong with his head. He had already known that; his memories all jumbled since the accident, but this was just... This was different.

He closed his eyes, inhaling deeply. He massaged his temple. The coolness of his wedding band against his forehead felt good.

He turned around, grabbing another tissue for his wrist and leaving Erwin's office a bit too quickly. He felt strange, in a way he couldn't put his finger on. He felt like a crazy person. He came back into the entryway, stopping in his tracks.

The front door was open again.

He stared at it, his body stiffening automatically. What the fuck? He tested the lock again angrily, finding no problems. He grit his teeth, infuriated. Hallucinations, voices, visions and now this? Someone was fucking with him; playing him for a fool. He slammed the door shut, the sound echoing loudly. He was breathing heavily as he pushed the door again, and again, clicking the lock with more force than was necessary.

He was not a _fucking_ idiot.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
Erwin and Levi's house and the land it sat on had originally belonged to Erwin's father before he died, and was _too fucking big_ , in Levi's humble opinion. The backyard actually extended all the way back to a lake where Erwin's father had built a small wharf. That was where Levi sat, the sun sinking into the horizon and the sky just beginning to grow dark.

Levi came down here every now and then to watch the lake, their inherited house at his back. Erwin hadn't come home yet and he sat at the edge of the small wharf, Hamlet pressed up against his thigh. Hamlet was the name he gave to a cat he often found wandering around their property, and Levi fed him when he saw him. He had always been a cat person; they were so clean. He wasn't sure who Hamlet's owner was, but Levi appreciated the company, even though it was only because Levi gave him food.

He had his phone pressed to his ear, Mikasa's roommate, Annie, on the other end.

"Is Mikasa there?" A pause, Annie's muffled voice coming through on the other end, "...Any idea when she'll be back?"

He looked over his shoulder, at his house behind him, the lights in the house standing out against the darkening sky outside.

"S'alright. Just...can you tell her I called?" Another pause. "Thanks, Annie," he hung up, exhaling softly. He had talked to Mikasa already a couple of days ago, but wanted to hear his daughter's voice again. He scowled. Maybe he was being too clingy. Erwin would probably find it hilarious if he knew.

He stared at the calm water surrounding him, sighing again. He was being ridiculous. His daughter had been moved out for a week so far and he was already acting like a mad man.

A ripple grew in the water in front of him, and Hamlet hissed suddenly, bounding down the short wharf and back to the safety of land. Levi jumped at the suddenness of the act, frowning as he watched the cat leave.

"Well, what's your problem?" he asked, turning back around to the water with a huff, feeling lonely. A larger ripple appeared in the water.

Levi watched it oddly, brows furrowed. Where was that ripple coming from? There was nothing in the water making movement. He stared into the depths, wondering if perhaps there were fish in the lake.

The longer he stared, the more he felt he could see something - an object - lying just below the surface. He leaned forward unintentionally, squinting his eyes as he tried to make it out. It looked pale in comparison to the dark water, standing out against the deep blue. It looked oval-shaped, and the longer he stared, the more he could make out wispy, short, dark strands of something surrounding it, billowing out into the water. He stared, mouth opening slightly. It almost looked like.... a fac--

His loud ringtone made him jump about two feet in the air, gasping in shock and scrambling to his feet. He fumbled clumsily for his phone, breathing heavily and his gaze immediately snapped back to the water. His heart beat erratically and he pressed a hand to his stomach. He brought his phone to his ear, pressing the answer button without looking at the caller ID and saying, "H-Hello?" His voice was breathless, and his eyes darted back and forth across the surface of the water.

" _Hey, baby. I'm stuck here for another couple of hours. Sorry_ ," Erwin's deep baritone entered Levi's ears, but he was too on edge to really register what he was saying.

"Oh," was all he managed. His heart was still beating erratically in his chest. He couldn't see anything. The water was still, completely peaceful.

" _...Unless you need me to come home?_ " he heard Erwin's voice say, but he was still breathing hard into the receiver, looking up and around him at his surroundings. He opened his mouth, but nothing came out. " _...Lee? Baby, are you alright?"_

Levi looked back at the water, swallowing drily and shaking his head, "...N-No... I mean, _yes_ , it's fine... _I'm_ fine."

A pause, ".. _.Are you sure? You sound out of breath."_

Levi stared at the still water, mouth still half-open and eyebrows furrowed in confusion. What the hell was that? There was nothing; nothing at all in the water, the surface completely calm.

_"...Levi?"_

"Huh?" He broke out of his reverie, realizing he was still on the phone, "Oh, it's fine. Just...take your time, babe. I'm fine." It sounded like he was reassuring himself, and not Erwin.

Another pause, "... _Alright,_ " Erwin's tone sounded skeptical. " _See you soon. I love you._ "

"I love you, too. Bye." He hung up, noticing his voice had been shaking, and looked down at his phone. The caller ID still showed a photo of Erwin, making a stupid face at the camera.

He threw a long, last glance back to the water. He stared for a long time, before turning around and heading back inside.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
Dinner was eaten alone at the kitchen table, and Levi had probably downed three whole glasses of wine with it. Erwin still wasn't home yet, and Levi grabbed a small box from their dresser, stepping outside their front door into the cool night air.

He opened the small box, tapping it and pulling out a cigarette, before putting said cigarette between his lips and lighting it. Technically they were Erwin's, since he was the one who bought them. Neither of them really smoked unless it was a special occasion, or when Erwin was really stressed. Levi figured _he_ felt stressed enough at that moment that he deserved one of Erwin's stashes. He drew a deep breath into his lungs, closing his eyes and reveling in the sweet taste of nicotine.

He tapped his foot, scanning the area for Hamlet. He hadn't returned since scampering off that afternoon at the wharf. He must be curled up at his owner's place right now, safe and warm. He wondered what had gotten him so spooked that he ran off so quickly. Surely he hadn't seen the same thing Levi thought he saw. A male fac-- He stopped himself. _Don't think about it. Don't encourage these crazy thoughts. Don't give Erwin a reason to worry._

He drew his arms up around himself, rubbing his arms as he felt the wind blow. The air was chilly. He took a long, drag of his cigarette before throwing it to the gravel, stamping it beneath his shoe and turning back around to the house. He reached out for the doorknob.

When it opened by itself once again.

Levi found himself with déjà vu, his hand in mid-air, staring at the half-open front door. His fingers shook. Instead of grasping the doorknob, he pushed the wood of the door open slowly, leaning around the frame to peek inside. He couldn't hear anything, or see anything out of place. He eased his body in, pausing in the doorway and straining his ears. Nothing.

He swallowed, closing the door behind him very firmly. He turned back around to look at his home, his back to the door. His eyes drifted from side to side, looking at the familiar furniture of his home with unease. He stepped forward slowly, listening intently, feeling strange. There was something off that he couldn't quite place. He took a few more quiet steps forward.

The radio in Erwin's office turned on suddenly, playing loud static.

Levi jerked sharply, yelping in surprise and he whipped his head towards the room, at the radio sitting innocently in the corner. The lights had turned on along with the sound, and Levi stared at it, wide eyes open in terror.

Just as quickly as the radio had turned on, it turned back off again. Levi's shoulders were up, hands trembling and in claws and he could feel a cold sweat on his skin, heart pumping wildly. He forced himself to breathe in through his nose, unable to take his eyes off the doorway to Erwin's office.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He came straight to Erwin's workplace. He didn't want to admit it, but he couldn't be in that house alone. He just couldn't. Not right now.

He walked past a few of his husband's colleagues, a few staying late and sitting tiredly at their desks, multiple cups of coffee littering their work spaces. Levi looked at them from the corner of his eye as he inched past them, hurrying towards his husband's office.

Erwin came out just as Levi approached, documents in hand, looking surprised to see him. Levi smiled at him guiltily.

"Lee? What's going on?" Erwin's voice was concerned, a hand already on his back. "Are you okay?"

"I..." Levi looked down at his shoes, "I heard... noises."

Erwin frowned, "What kind of noises? Where?"

"At the house. I just... I freaked out," he admitted.

"Did you call the police?" Erwin was already reaching for his jacket.

"No, I just... I just wanted to see you, that's all," Levi said, and he felt such appreciation for his husband in that moment, who was so ready to put down everything just for him. Erwin gave him this gentle look and embraced him in a hug. "I'm sure it's nothing," Levi said, but he wasn't sure if he meant it.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
"I'll have the police check on the house," Erwin began unbuttoning his shirt, preparing to take a shower.

"Oh, that sounds great," Levi's tone was sarcastic, "' _Hello there, please check in on my husband, he's hearing voices_.'" His voice dropped two octaves as he imitated his husband's baritone, giving Erwin a posh accent for no reason. He leaned on the doorway of their adjoining bathroom, brushing his teeth and wearing one of Erwin's shirts as usual. "Gay as fuck _and_ crazy. Wait 'til _that_ gets around."

Erwin chuckled good-naturedly, stepping out of his pants and underwear and walking around Levi to get into their bathroom, pressing a kiss to his temple. Levi watched him blatantly, eyes on Erwin's bare ass.

"Sometimes I have to stay late at work, hun." Erwin stepped into the shower, turning it on and testing the water, "I just want you to feel safe."

Levi eyed his husband, watching the water run down the taller man's bare skin, blond hair pushed back sexily. Levi's toothbrush stuck out of his mouth at a weird angle, completely forgotten as he stared. Fuck, Erwin was hot.

"I do feel safe," Levi said quickly. Now that Erwin was back in the house with him, he felt incredibly stupid. Why had he been so scared anyway? He was a grown man. "I was just being stupid. I'm sure it was nothing."

Erwin threw him an understanding smile through the fogged-up glass of the shower and Levi went over to the sink, spitting into it. He looked in the mirror, checking his teeth, "...By the way, did you call Nile? About the neighbors."

Erwin was soaping himself up, and he looked towards the ceiling as he spoke over the sound of running water, "Yeah, I did. He said Kirschtein is harmless. Wouldn't hurt a fly. He got scolded by a superior and looked like he was going to shit his pants or burst into tears. Maybe both." Erwin was smiling as he said it. "Jean is his name. Jean Kirschtein."

Levi listened thoughtfully, watching his husband through the glass. "...And the fiance?"

Erwin frowned, trying to remember, "What was it that he told me... Oh, yeah. Nice kid. Bit loud; he yells a lot. They both do, though. Jaeger apparently comes to the workplace during Kirschtein's lunch break and they eat together. They bicker constantly, but Nile said he's caught them making out behind his building more than once. During work hours," Erwin laughed. "Pretty normal for a recently engaged couple."

Levi stared at himself in the mirror seriously, lips pursing. Was it really all just in his head, then? "...Eren, was it?"

Erwin turned off the water, pushing his hair back away from his face and looking at his small husband. "Hm?"

"Eren Jaeger. The fiance's name?" Levi hadn't taken his eyes off his own reflection.

"Yeah, that's it."

Levi hummed, in deep thought, and Erwin blinked at him through the fogged-up glass.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Erwin laid his husband down that night and fucked him, rough and intimately slow. Levi's whole body twitched whenever Erwin pushed in, and his teeth chattered uncontrollably every time the blond pressed against his prostate. He sobbed, cock flushed a pretty pink and leaking onto his stomach. Erwin didn't let him touch himself, whispering dirty compliments into his ear that made his pink erection jump.

Erwin knew something was off with his husband lately. Waking Erwin up in the middle of the night because he thought he saw something, being overly-curious about the neighbors. The way Levi's voice sounded distracted over the phone today, to him showing up at Erwin's workplace because he was too nervous to stay home alone. He knew something was up, even though Levi assured him he had just overreacted. Things like this happened sometimes, ever since the accident, but it seemed Mikasa leaving had made it a bit worse. But he knew Levi. He would get better.

So he did what he knew always helped when Levi was on-edge: he fucked him thoroughly. Erwin knew Levi liked it this way, to get his mind off other things that were bothering him. They would do it when they were younger all the time. They would fight, or Levi would be in one of his moods. Levi would throw things, and then Erwin would fuck him into the table. Make him lose his mind, if only for a little while. Make him forget everything, even his own name. Now that they were older, it didn't happen so often.

Erwin was the only one Levi had ever let see him like this. The only one who Levi was willing to bare everything to, to hand control over to.

Levi's toes curled delicately, voice breaking as he was pushed to orgasm, and Erwin grinded down, applying pressure to his prostate to intensify the pleasure. Levi convulsed, tears streaming down his cheeks as his cock spurted once, twice, and he made a sound so erotic that it pushed Erwin over the edge.

Levi passed out from over-stimulation, and Erwin stroked his husband's hair, cleaning off their bodies. Erwin had given Levi three orgasms in such a short span of time--no wonder his small body couldn't handle it. He kissed the bruises forming on his husband's hips, feeling guilty but knowing Levi liked them.

Levi came to a while later, looking around dazedly and giggling uncontrollably. He was always giddy after really good sex.

"I haven't fucked you like that in a while," Erwin whispered, pressing up against Levi's body from behind and putting his arms around him. "Is that why you've been restless lately? You just needed a good _. Deep. **Fuck**_." he teased.

Levi reached a hand up to Erwin's hair, twisting his neck so they were nose-to-nose. He was trying to stop smiling, rubbing the tips of their noses together. He just hummed.

Erwin chuckled, feeling a bit turned on at the implication that Levi's bad moods could be remedied by simply giving his prostate a firm rub. He whispered in Levi's ear, " _You're so naughty_."

Levi giggled, eyes glassy and legs still deliciously numb. He couldn't handle another round, Erwin knew that, so instead Levi just slithered down Erwin's body wordlessly.

Erwin watched him, hand stroking through Levi's hair gently, cupping his face. Levi opened his mouth and looked up at the blond through his eyelashes, and Erwin's head fell back against the pillow, mouth open in a loud moan.

Fuck, _yes_.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Levi slept in until noon the next day. Erwin had been rough in the best way possible the night before, and he found he always slept well after a good, thorough fucking from his handsome husband. He came downstairs, feeling pleasantly content. He brought the collar of the shirt he was wearing up to his nose, smelling Erwin's heady cologne. He was halfway down the stairs when he glanced at the front door.

It was open.

He stopped halfway down the staircase. His jaw felt like it was going to crack, he was gritting his teeth so hard. An uncontrollable rage bubbled up to the surface, and he stomped down the rest of the stairs and over to the open door.

Levi took a hold of the frame, slamming it shut with such force that the whole house reverberated with the sound. He heard a soft _crash_ , and only then realized how heavily he had been breathing, head snapping towards the sound. It came from Erwin's office.

His nostrils flared as he took deep breaths. This was not going to get the better of him, he thought. The fear from yesterday was being replaced with inexplicable anger. There was nothing _fucking_ wrong with him.

He marched into Erwin's office, fists clenched at his sides. He noticed immediately what had happened. The picture frame had fallen onto the floor face-down, the glass smashing. Levi huffed.

See? Nothing mysterious.

He knelt down carefully, picking up any shards of glass that he saw and putting them into the rubbish bin beside the desk. He picked up the face-down photo frame, turning it over in his hands, and his heart stopped.

The photo was not the same.

It still pictured himself and Erwin, a backdrop of the ocean. But instead of easy smiles, their faces were sterner; their smiles more reserved. They were wearing uniforms, winged insignia stitched to their chests. And Erwin's empty sleeve billowed out behind him in the wind. Just like in his memories.

_...Memories?_

Levi stared at it, the photo frame twitching in his shaking fingers. What the fuck was this. Had someone been in their house? What kind of fucked up _joke_ was this?!

This wasn't him. This wasn't Erwin.

His breath was coming out fast as he began to hyperventilate, poking his shaking fingers into the broken frame and clawing at the photo, trying to get it out. There was still broken glass stuck to the frame, and it pierced his fingers, smudging red with his blood. But Levi seemingly didn't notice the deep cuts being made in his fingers, even as blood pooled in the photo frame, sliding down his hands as the glass sliced deep into his skin. He just scrabbled at the photo stuck underneath desperately, ripping it out and dropping the bloodied frame at his feet, glass shattering against the floor.

His eyes were maniacal as he fumbled with the photo, fingers ripped and bloody and slipping. The photo was being stained with red, bloodied fingerprints, and it slipped from his fingers. Levi snatched it from the floor like a mad man, hands shaking uncontrollably as he stared at the photo again. He made a broken sound, like a dying animal.

The photo was back to normal.

A younger Levi and Erwin stared back at him from the photo, easy smiles on their faces. T-shirts and jeans. Erwin with both arms, one around Levi's shoulders.

Levi panted noisily, bloodshot eyes searching the crimson-stained photo. He flipped it over, reading Erwin's messy scrawl on the back; _date taken_. He flipped it over again. All was normal.

His younger self smiled up at him, but he couldn't help but feel like the smile was mocking him.

Levi threw the photo to the ground, a broken sob escaping his lips and he brought his cut-up fingers to his face, breaking down into tears. The pain in his hands finally caught up to him and he whimpered, looking down at his own shaking, bloodied fingers in horror.

Something was very wrong with him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's short, but I think I had the most fun writing the scene with Erwin in the shower as he tells Levi about Eren and Jean. I love the idea of Eruri just casually sharing the bathroom. Walking around naked in front of each other. Not blinking twice when one is using the sink and the other just strolls in and starts peeing in the toilet. Showering while the other shaves or brushes their teeth. It's just so... domestic.


	4. He Talks

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi spies on Jean, reunites with an old friend and feels stranger and stranger about his situation. Oh, and his therapist is an asshole. Who reminds him of his husband.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some new characters in this chapter. Yan is the guy with the bad leg from the Choice With No Regrets OVA. Just in case you don't recognize the name.

When he had finally managed to calm down, Levi cleaned up his mess quietly. He sniffed softly every now and then, and the skin around his eyes was pink, but he had pulled himself together. He swept up the blood-stained shards of glass and wiped the photo covered in bloody fingerprints with a wet towel. Thank goodness it was a proper polaroid - printed on glossy material that didn't smudge when wet - and not just paper, or he would have had to throw the photo away. He would have had to explain to Erwin why the photo in his office was covered in his blood.

He washed his fingers carefully, disinfecting them and wrapping them in band-aids, holding them up in front of him and wiggling them experimentally. He had run out of the beige band-aids halfway through, resorting to using pink Hello Kitty ones; a remnant left over from Mikasa's childhood.

Levi then filled a warm bath. Undressing slowly and mind elsewhere, he lay in the hot water quietly to calm his uneasiness, a mug of the tea he had gotten from Hanji and Moblit sitting next to him.

The incident in Erwin's office from a short hour ago felt far away, disconnected from him. He didn't know why he did that. Why he had clawed at the photo uncontrollably. Why he had been so desperate that he didn't even notice he had ripped open his fingers with the broken glass until afterwards. How did it not hurt as he was doing it? That hysterical... _crazy_ person that had dyed the polaroid red with his own bloodied fingerprints. Levi wasn't that man.

The memory of what he had felt at the time was fuzzy and surreal. It felt like it had been someone else, and he had just been watching. Then cleaned up their mess. The only reminder that it had indeed been him were the multiple band-aids littering his thin fingers.

Levi closed his eyes, breathing out.

He focused on his breathing; _in through his nose, out through his mouth_. Behind his eyelids, he saw darkness and melted into it; reveled in it. He dived in deeper, swimming through the blackness until it surrounded him; until blackness was all he could see. Blackness was all he could feel.

Within the blackness, a face emerged; so familiar. He wasn't sure where he had seen them before; why they were familiar. The face was pale, hair the colour of dark chocolate. The skin on their face was wrapped in pink, sinewy tissue; strings of muscle attached to the places below his eyes, around his head; melted into his skin. It was a boy's face. His head rested; was surrounded by the raw flesh. It melded into his skin flawlessly, as if the flesh and the boy were one and the same. Steam rose from his skin hotly, from where flesh met flesh. The boy's eyes snapped open, and Levi saw that his irises were a bright green, like the colour of the deep, deep ocea-

Levi jerked up in the bathtub with an enormous gasp for air, coughing wetly.

Had he gone under?!

His neck swiveled back and forth wildly, taking in the white surroundings of his bathroom. He must have dozed off and slipped under the water. He sucked air into his lungs in deep gulps, running his hands through his soaking hair and pulling himself up properly in the tub. He blinked at the walls, hands gripping the edges of the bath with wet fingers covered in colourful band-aids. He reached over to his mug of tea. It was cold. He really did doze off in the bathtub.

His breathing had steadied, bare chest rising and falling under his fingers, and he ran his wet hand over his face again, gulping in air. His dream was still fresh in his mind. A familiar boy - head pillowed in a bed of red, sinewy flesh that exuded steam - with bright, green eyes.

_Eren Jaeger._

Levi's eyes opened, water dripping from his eyelashes. He had dreamed of his neighbor. His unconscious mind had pushed the thought forward to his conscious one, reminding him of thoughts he had been attempting to ignore.

He felt himself shiver. He stood up in the bath, water sloshing and dripping off his bare body as he reached for a towel, drying himself off and stepping out of the tub carefully. He came out of his and Erwin's adjoining bathroom and into their bedroom, not bothering to cover up his body. As he pulled on some pants, his eyes drifted over to the window, and he walked over to it, lifting the thin curtain discreetly. Kirschtein's car was leaving, pulling out and away from the driveway.

Levi's gaze drifted over to the house next door, his inky hair dripping and leaving dark spots in the carpet at his pale feet.

If he wanted to check on Eren, then now was the time.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He stood on the edge of the neighbors' lawn, craning his head. There was a car in their garage, the one that hadn't moved for the past week. _Jaeger's car._

Levi held the gift-basket in his bandaged fingers, the flowers he had put in there a few days ago replaced with fresh ones. Everything else stayed the same, and he nodded down at it, satisfied. He had damn good taste.

He followed the neighbors' driveway up to their front door, steps much surer than he felt. His eyes dropped to the side, noticing the large skid mark in the mud; dried over but still very present. Levi frowned suspiciously at it. He hadn't been imagining this mark, then. He continued past it, stepping up onto their porch.

"...Hello?" he called steadily, "...Jaeger?"

The window next to the door had the curtains drawn messily, leaving a sizable gap for Levi to peek through. He leaned in, craning his neck.

A large cashmere rug covered their dark timber flooring. There were upturned chairs littering the floor, and clothes and shoes scattered about. Levi frowned. Had they been fighting? Levi himself often upturned furniture during some of his and Erwin's more serious fights. He recognized the scene for what it was.

A loud sound made him jump, and he whipped around. The wind blew heavily, the multiple wind-chimes on the neighbors' porch tinkling prettily. Levi forced his own breathing to steady, swallowing thickly and inching along the porch with his back to the wall. He eyed the stained shirt in the middle of the walkway, still in the same place he had left it last time he was here. The reddish-brown stain stood out starkly against the white of the shirt, speaking to him.

Levi ripped his eyes away from it, peeking into the next window. A small table pressed against the window with reading glasses set on top. More overturned furniture and scattered men's clothes. But no movement that he could see. _No Eren._

The wind blew forcefully and made the wooden wind-chimes clatter noisily against the timber posts. It made Levi jumpy; the sound unnatural and making it hard to hear footsteps, if there were any to hear. Why did the young couple have so many goddamn wind-chimes, anyway?

Levi walked back around the way he came, feeling jittery and nervous. He startled when he noticed Kirschtein's car in the driveway. _Shit._ He froze in the middle of the porch, gathering his bearings, then tiptoed past the front door, trying to keep his footsteps quiet.

"Um... Can I help you?" A voice came from behind him. Levi's mouth was dry and he turned around slowly, trying to act natural.

The Kirschtein boy was standing in his open doorway, looking confused and vaguely uneasy at Levi's presence. He had a handsome face, but it was unfortunately long, reminding Levi of a horse. A good-looking horse, though, Levi assured.

"Uh, yeah... Hi," Levi said awkwardly. "Me and my husband live next door to you. I'm... Levi Ackerman. Or Smith. Whichever."

Jean visibly relaxed, and only with that movement did Levi realize that the boy had been nervous until now. Was he intimidated by Levi? "Hi, Mr. ...Smith. Jean Kirschtein."

Levi paused, forgetting how to act like a normal fucking human being for a brief second. He thrust the gift basket forward. "I just, uh... wanted to stop by and welcome you to the... neighborhood." He didn't usually do things like this, and felt incredibly stupid. _Pleasant_ and _polite_ were not exactly his forte.

Jean looked genuinely awed, taking the basket from his hands. "Thank you... uh... that's really nice of you. This... um... just isn't a very good time. I'm running late," he said, and Levi noticed him fidgeting. What an awkward kid.

"Right," Levi eyed him carefully, and wished he knew the guy a bit better so he could read his body language. All he could tell was that Jean was uncomfortable, but he seemed like the kind of guy that was _always_ uncomfortable. "Is your... fiance home?"

Jean looked so uncomfortable in that moment, in fact, that Levi thought Jean might cry. Levi frowned unintentionally, and wondered if the kid was also one of those sensitive people who cried when put on the spot. "He isn't," Jean said stiffly, but didn't elaborate.

"When will he be back?" Levi asked, trying to sound casual.

Jean just smiled, but Levi noticed the smile didn't reach his eyes. "I'm not sure. Um... I have to go."

"Right." The smaller man added quickly, "Sorry. It was nice to meet you." He held out a hand, and Jean shook it weakly. Levi tried not to grimace. He hated people with weak handshakes. It made him want to kick them.

"You, too," Jean said politely, and Levi turned around, heading back down the driveway and towards his own house. He made a point of stepping exaggeratedly over the large skid mark in the dirt, casting a subtle look over his shoulder.

Levi was not sure what to think of Jean-fucking-Kirschtein.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Later that evening, Levi was camped out next to the window in his and Erwin's bedroom, a blanket around him and binoculars in hand as he spied on the house next door.

" _What's he doing?"_ Hanji's voice came through on speaker phone, and Levi could practically _hear_ them smiling. He wanted to smack it right off their stupid face.

"Eating dinner. Alone," Levi said, stuffing sour worms into his mouth from the bag at his knee and munching noisily. People who didn't know him well would probably be surprised to hear that Levi actually had quite the sweet-tooth, particularly when stressed, to the point where Erwin would hide bags of candy from him so he wouldn't eat them all. He peered through the binoculars into the neighbors' house, at Jean seated at his small table, picking at his food. Levi wrinkled his nose, " _Microwave_ dinner."

Was he being crazy? Well, he was on the floor, hunched over and peeking through the window with binoculars, lights off in the bedroom to create the illusion that he wasn't there. Yes, Levi would admit, he was acting kind of crazy, but at the same time he figured it was a bit late for that, considering the incident from that afternoon with the photo frame.

" _Oooh, that's bad_ ," Hanji said, voice still laced with a wide grin. Levi zoomed in to look into the other windows; from the porch to the front door. He heard voices in the background through the receiver. " _Whoops. That's Moblit. Gotta get back. Listen, call me if he starts serial-killing his way through the other neighbors."_

"Got it," Levi said humorlessly, but he was appreciative of Hanji's light tone now more than ever.

_"Ciao!"_

Levi hung up, looking back into the window where he had last seen Jean.

But he was no longer there.

Levi frowned, chewing on another sour worm and leaning forward. "Where'd you go?" he murmured, gaze flickering to each window again, searching for the young man. He took the binoculars away from his face, pushing the blanket off his lap and crawling over to the window on the other side of his and Erwin's spacious bed. He was on his haunches and brought the binoculars back up to his face, peering out the window from this new angle.

He spotted Jean on the front porch, the gift-basket Levi had given him earlier in hand. Levi watched as Jean rifled through it, apparently unimpressed with Levi's flowers, because he gave them a quick look before throwing them over his shoulder. Levi clicked his tongue, whispering, "Fuck you, Kirschtein." _Erwin_ thought they were nice.

Jean seemed to appreciate the wine bottle though, eyeing it and uncorking it right there on the porch, before bringing it up to his lips and drinking straight from the bottle. He headed back inside, taking another long gulp from the bottle as he kicked his front door closed behind him. Levi raised an eyebrow, sliding the focus on the binoculars with a band-aid covered finger. He was pretty impressed; that was some strong wine. Was Jean upset about something?

His gaze slid back to the window, waiting for Jean to reappear there at the table with the wine bottle, but he never did. Levi's brows furrowed, adjusting the focus again and checking each window one by one, with no Jean in sight. "What the fuu..." he zoomed back out again, checking the front door, each window again, one after another...

Jean peered out through his window, and met Levi's eyes through the binoculars.

" _Shit_ ," Levi hissed, immediately ducking his head below the window, but knowing it was too late. Jean had already seen him. His bandaged fingers twitched on the binoculars, and he nibbled his lip between his teeth.

A long while passed, and he poked his head up slowly, looking through the window. Jean was no longer standing there, but Levi could see that he was moving around the room.

Levi paused in deep thought, his lip between his teeth and tapping his sore fingers. He got up quickly, head still lowered, and slid over his and Erwin's bed lithely, back to the other window. He peeked out again at the house next door, the backyard included. He brought the binoculars up to his eyes again. The small table was empty, the open wine bottle seated there innocently. Levi zoomed in at the other windows. Curtains drawn. No movement. _No Jean._ Levi breathed out through his mouth.

He heard a sound, like a door closing, and his gaze flew to the front door. The porch and stairs. The front yard. _Still no Jean._

A dog began barking. Levi followed the sound to the road in front of their house. A dog from an unknown neighbor was facing him, barking loudly. What the fuck? Levi followed the direction the dog was facing, stopping when he realized it was facing _his_ house. He took the binoculars away from his face. _Shit._ Had Jean come over?

_call me if he starts serial-killing his way through the other neighbors_

Hanji's voice echoed through his mind and he heard his own breath quicken. He took a step back from the window, heart racing. _Holy shit._ He suddenly felt frozen, unable to turn around. His bandaged fingers shook. He needed to get to the baseball bat Erwin kept near his side of the bed. He breathed out noisily, heart thudding in his chest as he swung his body around-

Right into Erwin's firm chest, bumping his nose.

They both screamed bloody murder. Erwin put his hands on Levi's shoulders, and Levi probably would have laughed at his husband's manly scream if he hadn't been so scared himself. Levi brought his hands up to his face, rubbing his nose, gasping into his hands with relief. The dog had just been barking at Erwin, coming home from work.

"Jesus, Levi!" Erwin panted, snatching the binoculars from his hands. "What are you doing?!"

Levi was breathing heavily, adrenaline fading and leaving him breathless, "I-I was... wa-l-looking..."

" _Spying_ , you mean?"

" _Spying_... on the... on the Kirschtein kid," he said, figuring he would sound less idiotic if he said it confidently. He didn't.

Erwin frowned, only now noticing Levi's fingers and looking down at them worriedly, "What did you do to your fingers?"

"I..." Levi's head was still a mess, hesitating. Should he tell him the truth? "I dropped a photo frame. The one in your office." It wasn't a complete lie. "I'm sorry."

Erwin cradled Levi's smaller fingers in his, making a sympathetic sound, "Oh, darling, don't apologize. Are you alright? It looks painful."

Levi just nodded, letting Erwin rub his fingers gently. He didn't want to go into it. Didn't want his husband to think he was going insane, even though he probably was.

Erwin perked up like he just remembered something, looking up at Levi's sweatpants and T-shirt oddly. "How come you're not dressed?"

Levi blinked. "Dressed?"

"Dinner with Yan," Erwin stated.

Levi paused, thinking. Then his eyes widened with realization. "That was _tonight_?!"

"Yes, darling." Erwin looked a bit exasperated, looking down at his watch as Levi bolted towards their adjoining bathroom. "We're gonna be-"

" _Fashionably late!_ " Levi reassured loudly, hands flailing, and Erwin just rubbed his face with his hand, sighing an exaggerated sigh just for Levi.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
Yan was one of Erwin's work colleagues, and a good friend of the blond. But if he was being perfectly honest, Levi didn't actually remember much about the guy other than that he had a bad leg and was recently out-of-the-closet.

Apparently he had a new boyfriend, and Erwin had been so happy for him that they had decided to make a dinner date for the two of them and their partners. Erwin and Levi were experts when it came to gay-friendly restaurants - having been together for so long, as well as perfectly open with their relationship in public - so Erwin decided to help out a friend; make it comfortable for his first time un-closeted and out in the open.

Erwin was driving, Levi scrutinizing his hair in the tiny mirror above his head in the passenger seat, and trying to make it settle down. It wouldn't. He had thrown on a wine-red dress-shirt and black vest, well-fitted slacks and dress shoes. He positively screamed _well-dressed gay man_ , and Levi was quite satisfied with his get-up. He could probably go without the bright pink Hello Kitty band-aids on his fingers, though.

"Are you saying he murdered his fiance?" Erwin's tone was slightly amused. He wore an ice-coloured dress-shirt - one that Levi had always liked, saying it brought out his eyes - and matching dark grey vest and slacks. Levi would probably be checking him out right now if he hadn't been so out of it.

"Is it really that ridiculous? He looked fucking terrified, and now he doesn't answer the fucking door, even though his fucking car is still in their fucking garage," Levi said, not noticing how rough his language got when he was distressed.

Erwin was used to it. "Maybe he was out. Or in bed with the flu. Or..." the blond was smiling in a bewildered sort of way, "abducted by aliens." He looked at Levi through the mirror, chuckling.

Levi glared at his husband, patting his hair down again, only for it to spring up under his fingers. "Hilarious."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"Hey, Yan," Erwin called, and the man turned to them, standing up to greet them.

Levi shook Yan's hand, satisfied with his firm grip. Much better than the dead fish that Jean's had been.

Erwin gave Yan a brief hug, patting him on the back with an apologetic smile, "Sorry we're late."

"It's my fault," Levi said quickly, feeling bad.

Yan looked unbothered, "Oh, it's fine. Don't worry about it." Levi couldn't help noticing the way he hunched slightly to the side, to avoid putting weight on his bad leg.

"So, who's the new boyfriend?" Levi asked.

"I'm back!" A male voice came from behind him, and he turned around quickly to see a tall blond coming back from the bathroom. His jaw dropped, and the blond did the same as soon as he laid eyes on Levi. _Holy shit._

Yan began, "This is-"

"Farlan?" Levi interrupted.

" _Ho-oly_ shit. Levi?!"

Levi practically jumped into his old friend's embrace, and Farlan squeezed him back with just as much vigor. When they pulled away, Erwin was looking at him knowingly while Yan just stared in pleasant surprise.

"We fucking know each other!" Levi said, and Erwin reached in between them to shake Farlan's hand, saying warmly, ' _It's been a while.'_

Levi couldn't believe it; he hadn't seen his friend in so long. They had known each other since their teenage years, back when Levi was still dancing. Farlan had danced with him sometimes, but mostly did his choreography. They went way back, even before Erwin.

Farlan looked Levi up and down, an eyebrow raised and teeth showing, "Shit, Levi, you're looking good."

Levi grinned back, eyeing Farlan's slicked back hair, piercing blue eyes and tall, lithe frame, adorned in a well-fitting Italian suit. "Speak for yourself, dickhead. Holy shit." He pulled him into another hug.

Holy shit, indeed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"...And he just stood there in all his half-naked glory, in these... tiny purple biki-i-ni briefs..." Farlan snorted in laughter, trying to finish his sentence, "And I just choked on my drink, spraying it all over _everyone_."

Levi snorted, choking on _his_ drink and laughing into his napkin as he tried not to make a mess. Farlan clutched his stomach, laughing at the smaller man.

They sat at a cozy four-seater table, Levi next to Erwin and diagonally across from his old friend. Erwin patted Levi on the back as he choked, and Yan put his arm around Farlan, shushing him and looking charmed, as Farlan snorted with laughter. Erwin and Yan threw amused glances at each other across the table.

The restaurant was quiet, the main dinner rush long over, and the four of them were enjoying themselves spectacularly. They had finished dinner and gone through quite a few drinks each, but Levi and Farlan had drunk the most. They were reverting back to their younger selves, trying all the alcoholic drinks on the menu they didn't recognize.

A few other customers looked over at them making noise, but Levi and Farlan were too drunk and giddy to notice. Levi's laughter finally died down enough for him to breathe, and he leaned back in his chair.

"God, Levi..." Farlan let out a loud, exaggerated sigh as he held his stomach, "How long have you lived around here, anyway?"

Levi blew a breath out through his lips, looking up at the ceiling, "About... 2 years now? Erwin's father left his house to us, and Mikasa went to high school around here."

"Oh, Mikasa! How's she doing?"

"She just moved out. Literally a week ago."

"Holy _shit_ , we're getting old. And how's mum doing?" Farlan teased, stirring his drink with his straw.

"Are you referring to me? I'm good. I'm fine. Finally got some time to myself," Levi grinned back, and he felt Erwin squeeze his knee.

Farlan cocked his head, smile plastered to his face, "When was the last time we even saw each other?"

Levi remembered looking through the photo albums, at the photos of Farlan at his and Erwin's wedding, a few photos here and there over the years when they would go out for lunch or drinks together. If he had flipped back far enough, there would have been many more; when he and Farlan had been attached at the hip and around the time he first met Erwin.

"It would have been before we moved into this house. Two years ago, at least. While I was still dancing."

Yan perked up, "Farlan did your choreography, right? Wow, you go way back, huh."

"We toured together back in the day," Farlan said, and looked drunk as he hummed and leaned back into his boyfriend. "Have you seen him dance?"

Levi saw Erwin smiling out of the corner of his eye as Yan shook his head, smiling too, "No, unfortunately."

Farlan was definitely very drunk as he suddenly sat up in his seat, twisting so he was face-to-face with his boyfriend and a bit too close. Levi snickered behind his drink and Yan looked thoroughly amused. "I would sit on stage during Levi's solo..." Farlan held his hands out in front of him as he set the scene, reminiscing. He swayed in his seat and Yan looked like he was trying not to laugh, "and I mean... I would have tears just... _streaming_ down my face."

Levi smiled, looking down at the table cloth shyly. He hadn't heard anyone talk about his dancing in a long time. Erwin put his hand on Levi's bandaged fingers, squeezing.

"He's just... amazing." Farlan was looking at Levi, but he couldn't bring himself to look back.

"So, why did you stop?" Yan asked, and Levi looked up, opening his mouth.

"I uh..." Levi began, noticing that Erwin was looking down at their hands tensely. "I taught for a while. But uh... I just..." The accident wasn't something Erwin liked talking about. It gave him bad memories of how worried he had been for Levi's life. "I figured it was time. I'm an old man," he shrugged.

Farlan burst out laughing for no reason, and Levi snorted before he could stop himself. They were drunk as fuck.

"Is that when you moved here?" Yan asked.

Levi's shoulders shook, sipping his drink, "Mm... A bit before that. Erwin's father had this... old, stuffy place on a lake that he left to us when he passed."

"We're renovating it at the moment," Erwin added, an arm around his husband's shoulders.

"It's nice," Levi said. "You should come see it one day."

Erwin smiled, "It's haunted."

Levi snorted and turned his head to look at his blond husband oddly. He was pretty wasted, and Erwin joking about the idea of ghosts in their house made Levi feel better about the strange past week he had. But he vaguely wondered if he'd be angry at his husband if he was sober.

Farlan jolted up abruptly in his seat, making his boyfriend jump, "You're kidding."

"Levi was hearing noises in the house."

Farlan's eyes were wide, "What were you hearing?"

Levi scoffed, feeling stupid and waving his bandaged hand in front of his face. "It was nothing, I just... I don't know. I heard... voices, and whispering. A picture fell."

"Is that what you did to your hands?"

Levi smiled, nodding. He was glad he came tonight; the weird happenings at the house feeling far away in the past.

Farlan was listening intently, mouth open and he slurred drunkenly, "You know, I believe in that shit, _one-hundred-percent_."

Levi scratched at the band-aids on his fingers, the memory of how he got them fuzzy beneath the drunken haze in his mind, "...Really?"

" _Yes_." Farlan was waving his hands expressively.

"Wait, but who do you think it is?" Yan leaned forward in his seat, pushing Farlan's hands down so he could see Levi and Erwin across from him.

Levi pursed his lips. The neighbor's face - _Eren Jeager_ \- appeared fuzzily in his mind and he waved it away. Why would he want to haunt Levi?

"I think I know who it is," Erwin said, and Levi snapped his head to his husband, surprised. "...It might be my father," he smiled, only half-joking. Levi could only tell because he had known him for so long, but his husband sounded odd. "Maybe he's angry at all the renovations we're doing. He really loved this house," Erwin chuckled.

Yan and Farlan both laughed genuinely. Levi smiled along with them, but he couldn't help but feel a bit off.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Levi came up the stairs slowly from the living room, trying to be as quiet as possible. It was later that night and Erwin was already fast asleep. Levi had been downstairs flicking through photo albums, reminiscing over photos of himself and Farlan when they were younger. He had lost track of time; he really needed to join his husband and get some sleep.

At the top of their staircase, Levi noticed that the bathroom door was closed, and he could see steam seeping out from between the crack in the door.

He froze on the stairs, staring at the steam rising lazily. Was Erwin having another shower? He already had one earlier.

Levi crept up the rest of the stairs, bare feet quiet on the floorboards as he approached the closed door. He could feel the warm steam on his feet, seeping out from underneath. He put his hand on the wood, pushing it softly, and the door creaked as it opened slowly.

The room was filled with a soft, warm fog. Levi took a slow step forward; another, and another, inching closer to the bath at the back of the room. He parted the steam with his body as he got closer, squinting through it, noticing that the bathtub was filled to the very brim; one more drop and it would overflow.

Erwin didn't take baths. Levi was the only one who really took them, enjoying the relaxation of soaking in a bathtub filled with hot water.

But he hadn't filled this bath.

He came up close, peering into the tub. Had he... filled it and then forgotten about it? He didn't remember.

Levi blinked slowly, just staring at the tub, steam wafting off the surface in waves. His mouth was half-open as he looked behind him, then forwards again, frowning confusedly. Then he shook his head, rolling up one of his sleeves and pausing.

He peered into the bathtub, at his reflection appearing in the water. Then he dipped his hand in slowly, down to his elbow towards the plug, the soft sloshing of water reaching his ears. He pulled, and the water began to drain.

He slung the chain of the plug over the tap, watching the water drain for a second before looking back at his reflection. His eyes drifted to the right, and his breath caught in his throat.

There was someone next to him in the reflection.

A familiar boy, dripping wet, dark hair plastered to his face. He stared, right into Levi, the uniform he was wearing soaked into his skin, winged insignia on his chest. He had his right hand clenched in a fist and pressed to his heart, and his eyes looked hollow; iris a bright, bright green.

Levi screamed, a loud, horrible sound; snapping his head around, eyes wide in terror. There was no one in there with him; no one at all. Levi was backing up against the wall, eyes darting around the bathroom that seemed too white, like it was closing in around him. His bandaged fingers trembled furiously as his voice teetered off into a broken sound, feeling like his heart was going to burst out of his chest.

Erwin came running in, hair a mess and dark bags beneath his eyes, and Levi's eyes snapped to him, looking absolutely terrified. He clutched his head in his hands, curling in on himself. The blond had his arms around him in the next moment, asking him _what's wrong? are you hurt? baby, what's happened?_

Levi just shook his head back and forth, curling up into a ball on the floor and trembling uncontrollably. He couldn't breathe, chest painful, breath coming out in pathetic hitching sobs. Erwin stroked his hair, arms around the smaller man, trying to calm him down. He rocked back and forth and kissed him, whispering to him that _everything was going to be okay._

Levi wanted to believe him more than anything.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"So. Whose idea was it?" A young blond man sat in an identical armchair across from Levi, a clipboard in front of him as he flipped a pen between his fingers. He had soft features, and a permanent gentle smile on his face.

_Armin Arlert. 24. Psychiatrist._

Levi had a leg crossed over his other one, foot bouncing absentmindedly. He appreciated that the young man in front of him didn't sound patronizing, but he still felt uncomfortable and... utterly insane.

"Mine. His," Levi stuttered. Armin didn't say anything, waiting for him to continue. "Well, no, we both thought..." he tapped his bandaged fingers against his leg, sighing in defeat and admitting, "I didn't want to come."

Armin didn't look surprised, just nodding and writing something on his notes. "Then why did you?"

"He was worried about me."

"Your husband?"

Levi nodded. "He's probably hoping you'll give me something to take, so he can get a good night's sleep for once. Without me acting fucking insane."

Armin smiled, steepling his hands in front of him, "Is that what you really think?"

"No." It was the truth. Erwin would never think that, even though Levi sometimes wished he would. Erwin was too good to him.

" _Are_ you on medication?"

"No." Levi paused, "Or... well, I take sleeping tablets sometimes. For... sleeping," he said awkwardly.

Armin scratched something else onto his notes. "Having trouble sleeping?"

"Sometimes," Levi lied. He always had trouble sleeping. "When I'm... anxious."

"Do you get anxious only at night?"

"...No. I only take sleeping tablets at night."

Armin smiled, "For sleeping."

There was a pause, and Levi felt like he was being read like a book by the young man in front of him.

"And why are you anxious?" Armin continued.

Levi frowned, nibbling on his lip, leg still bouncing. "Fuck if I know."

"Why do you think your husband is worried?"

"Because..." Levi remembered the look on Erwin's face during his crazy episodes this past week. "I don't know. Ever since Mikasa moved out... - Our daughter," Levi explained, and Armin nodded for him to continue. "There's been... I've been..."

He scoffed, feeling stupid. He wasn't sure how to put it into words; to start telling this stranger in front of him about things that he even struggled to tell his own husband. _I fantasize about my husband missing his arm. I see faces in the water. I think I might be going crazy._ He opened his mouth, closing it again with a bitter laugh. Armin smiled gently - but not patronizingly - and looked like he could tell exactly what was going on in Levi's mind. He passed Levi a bowl of hard candies wordlessly, and Levi raised an eyebrow, before taking one and popping it in his mouth. It was good.

Armin steepled his fingers again, tapping his pen. "I know, it's hard because I'm a complete stranger. And I'm asking you about all these personal things." He looked right into Levi's eyes as he spoke, and Levi couldn't help thinking Armin reminded him a bit of Erwin. The understanding smile that managed to not be condescending. The confidence behind his tone as he spoke. If Armin had been a bit older, Levi would probably find him attractive. "When most people come here for the first time, they're always wondering... if I think they're crazy," he smiled knowingly.

Levi looked away from Armin's deep blue eyes, taking in his words. He pushed the candy he was sucking to the other side of his mouth, and it clacked against his teeth.

There was a long silence, and just when Armin opened his mouth to say something else, Levi made up his mind; biting the candy in half with a loud _crunch_.

"There's a ghost in my house."

Armin blinked, taking in the information, and Levi was glad that the young man didn't look like he wanted to laugh. He just waited for Levi to continue.

"I saw him in the water. Beside me... in the bathtub," Levi stated.

Armin looked thoughtful, "What does he look like?"

"He looked like..." Levi frowned slightly, trying to put the boy's features into words for the first time. "...Me. Only if I... were younger, and better looking. And had... green eyes."

Armin wrote something on his notes, and Levi's eyes dropped to watch the movement. "Any idea who he is?"

"Yes." Levi paused and Armin looked up at him, hand poised over his paper. "But I'd... rather not say just yet."

Armin leaned back in his chair, not looking annoyed in the least. "That's fine."

There was another long pause where neither of them said anything, and Armin just stared at Levi.

Levi frowned, annoyed that he had just told his therapist that he was seeing fucking _ghosts_ in his house, but was practically being ignored. He had expected Armin to make a bigger deal out of it than he was. "So what the fuck am I supposed to do?"

Armin was just smiling at him in that infuriatingly- _Erwin_ -way. Levi wasn't sure what he had been expecting the blond to say, but it sure as hell wasn't this: "Try to contact him. Communicate with him somehow. Find out what he wants."

Levi just stared at his therapist, mouth half-open, and his leg had finally stopped bouncing.

"...What do you want me to do, go out and buy a fucking Ouija board or something?!"

Armin just smiled.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so glad I got to write Farlan into this fic. I love Farlan so fucking much.
> 
> I laughed when I wrote the part with Levi getting scared of Jean. Like, come on, it's _Jean_. The horse-face kid with the dead-fish-handshake who couldn't hurt a fly even if he wanted to. 
> 
> Oh, Levi. Poor bb.


	5. He Communicates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Levi and Hanji have a seance in the bathroom, and things spiral out of control.

He did go out and buy a fucking Ouija board.

 

It was during the day when he invited Hanji over, and they sat across from each other in the middle of Levi's bathroom. The lights were off and a lit candle sat on a small table next to them, along with some alcohol Hanji brought along.

They sat cross-legged as Levi ripped the plastic off the large box he was holding; the Ouija board he had bought that morning. Hanji was sipping from their glass, and Levi narrowed his eyes annoyedly at them for acting so casually.

"Are we hoping the ghost needs to take a big 'ol poop?" Hanji downed the rest of their glass, referring to the fact that they were sitting on the floor of Levi's bathroom.

Levi glared at them, opening the box, "This is where he _was_. This is where I... _saw_ him."

Hanji shrugged, pouring themselves another glass from the wine bottle. "Where did you even find one of those?"

Levi took out the board, setting it on the floor between them and scanning the instructions. "One of those... two dollar stores where they sell shit that isn't even two dollars."

"Ugh. Why do they lie to us like that?" Hanji snorted, taking another sip of their wine. They perked up suddenly, "Aren't we supposed to sit in one of those protective circles, or something?"

Levi ignored them, getting up and leaving the room for a moment. He came back in with something in hand.

An off-white shirt with a reddish-brown stain on the front.

Hanji watched him sit down again and place it on the table next to them. "What's that for?" Levi didn't say anything, avoiding their eyes. "Levi, where did you get that."

"Doesn't matter," Levi mumbled, still not looking at them.

Hanji stared at him with their mouth open. "You stole the dead boy's shirt."

Levi growled out frustratedly, "You have to _have_ something! _Of the dead boy_."

"Says who?" A pause. "Is that blood on it?"

Levi massaged his temple. "I don't know. Just... put your fucking fingers on the thing."

Hanji narrowed their eyes at him in a way that looked both amused and suspicious at once, taking a last sip from their glass. "Okaaay."

They shook their hands out in front of them, closing their eyes while Levi put his hands on the message indicator of the ouija board, waiting for Hanji to do the same. Levi couldn't help the slight nervous twitching of his fingers. He looked down at his wedding band, the sight of it calming him, and he closed his eyes.

Hanji was finally silent, and there was a long pause as Levi thought of how he should begin.

He opened his mouth, "We... wish to... commune, with the spirit of-"

" _Pfft_ ," Hanji's snickering interrupted him and he snapped his eyes open, glaring at his friend across from him.

 _"What,"_ Levi snapped.

Hanji still had their eyes closed as they laughed. "W-we wish to _'commune'_..." they teased, shoulders shaking.

Levi looked to the ceiling, sighing deeply in annoyance and taking his hands off the indicator. "...Forget it."

"What? What's wrong?"

Levi put his face in his hands, rubbing his temple, "No, this is stupid. This whole thing is just fucking insane." He sighed deeply, reaching for his untouched glass of wine and taking a large gulp of it.

"What? Levi. I'm sorry." They were smiling as they said it, hands still on the message indicator, "Look, what's his name? His first name."

Levi finished his glass, pouring any last drops into his mouth. He shook his head, huffing loudly, "...Eren." He put his empty glass down, looking at Hanji with a glare, daring them to laugh. _"Jeager."_

Hanji nodded as if this was extremely interesting information to them and closed their eyes. They chanted very seriously, _"Eren Jeager, Eren Jeager, Eren Jaeger..."_

Levi watched them, frowning and closing his eyes again as he took a deep breath. He started again, "We wish to communi _cate_..." he enunciated pointedly, just for Hanji, "with the spirit of Eren Jeager."

He paused, waiting. Their hands rested lightly on the message indicator, and Levi could feel his fingers trembling a little, but he ignored it. His brows furrowed, listening.

Hanji was twisting their face oddly, "...Not much... happeni-"

_"Shut up."_

Levi focused his senses, listening intently to the air around them.

Hanji was making a weird face, already restless, and they suddenly started snickering again. Levi opened his eyes very slowly, looking at them with such a scathing glare that Hanji immediately silenced themself.

Levi pursed his lips, closing his eyes again. He listened, brows furrowed.

A long silence.

When they heard a soft something; very quiet, like a whisper.

"What was that," Hanji whispered.

Levi frowned and opened his eyes, looking to the small table with the candle. "It's flickering," he murmured, watching the small flame glow on and off quickly.

Hanji watched it too, voice highly interested, "Yeah..."

The candle burnt so low that Levi thought it might go out, before it suddenly grew to its normal size again, burning brightly. It was such an unnatural thing for a candle to do in a closed-off room. They had closed the main door, as well as the door that connected the bathroom to Erwin and Levi's bedroom, so there was no possible way for wind to come in.

Levi felt on-edge as he watched, and he slid his eyes over to Hanji across from him, who had a similar look on their face as their eyes met. He swallowed thickly, and both he and Hanji looked slowly down at their hands. Levi's bandaged fingers trembled, and they slid their hands off the message indicator, very slowly, not taking their eyes off the board.

The candle flickered, on and off, and the message indicator twitched where it rested. Both he and Hanji jumped. The indicator twitched again, back to it's original position.

 _"Did you see that,"_ Levi's eyes were wide.

Hanji just nodded, face torn between fear and fascination.

Levi kept his eyes on the board. The flame on the candle flickered then faded, and the bathroom slowly sunk into darkness. They could barely see each other, and Levi could hear his breathing loud in his ears as he stared.

They heard the sound of the door creaking.

Levi's breath caught in his throat, and he and Hanji turned their heads slowly towards the bathroom door. It was inching open, the hinges creaking horribly as it swung inwards towards them slowly. Levi's heart pumped wildly in his chest and he felt the hairs on the back of his neck stand up, the slow creaking continuing as the sight of the stairwell was revealed to them.

The daylight outside made it's way slowly into the bathroom, and Levi felt himself trembling. The door slowed when it reached about two thirds of the way, and they stared into the empty doorway.

There was no one standing on the other side.

Levi could feel his chest heaving as he tried to get oxygen into his lungs. His fingers wouldn't stop shaking and he could hear Hanji breathing across from him. There was no one there. Levi stared with wide eyes, waiting, any moment for the familiar brown head of hair to peek around the doorframe, for the boy with bright green eyes to push the rest of the door ope-

The second door, the one adjoining to the bedroom, swung open and banged loudly against the wall behind Levi's head.

He gasped, scrambling away from the door behind him and he heard Hanji let out a yelp of surprise...

The stray cat, Hamlet, scuttled into the bathroom from behind Levi, claws clacking against the tiles as he mewled. Levi felt his heart racing in his chest as he panted, eyes still wide as saucers and mouth open in a silent scream, and he heard Hanji burst into breathless laughter.

"What the _fuck_?!" Levi yelled, but Hamlet just meowed at him, licking his white paws.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
"Listen..." Levi and Hanji stood outside the front door, Hanji getting ready to leave. "About today..." Levi picked at the band-aids on his fingers absently, "Erwin doesn't need to know."

Hanji just smiled gently at him, and Levi could tell they wanted to assure him that Erwin wouldn't think any less of him.

"I know," Levi said before Hanji could begin. "I know what you want to say. It's just that... ever since the accident... He treats me like I'm this fragile _child_ that's just going to... snap at any moment. Although... I guess I _am_ seeing ghosts in the bathtub..."

Hanji looked at him, saying quietly, "Well, you _did_ wrap your car around a tree, Levi." Their eyes were gentle, expression slightly sad. "He was pretty shaken up. We all were."

Levi looked up, surprised. "It was an _accident_. A fucking _year_ ago," his voice was incredulous, "I'm fine!"

Hanji just looked at him, something in their eyes. They laughed softly, reaching out to wrap their arms around Levi. "Of course you are." They held on longer than they normally did, and Levi felt at a loss. When they finally pulled away, the strange expression from before was gone like it had never been there, maniacal smile back in place. "You're just a horrible medium, that's all." They turned around, walking over to their car parked in the driveway. "I'll talk to you later!"

Levi waved as Hanji's car pulled out of his driveway, and watched it disappear into the distance.

He bit his lip, standing there silently in his doorway and feeling out of it.

He missed Erwin.

He knew he was contradicting himself. Telling Hanji that he wanted to keep today a secret from him, but at the same time just wanting to tell Erwin everything and have the blond wrap his arms around him.

A heavy feeling settled itself in Levi's chest.

He remembered Erwin's face - the first thing Levi had seen when he woke up after the accident. Erwin had been unshaven, messy blond hair falling in his eyes, dark bags standing out starkly against his pale face. He had looked like he hadn't slept in days, which truthfully he hadn't, head lulling against his chest as he sat by Levi's bedside.

Levi remembered hearing himself pant through the breathing apparatus over his nose and mouth; the whiteness of the hospital walls, the throbbing in his head.

Erwin had opened his eyes, looking over at him. He remembered the widening of his tired blue eyes, the realization dawning; how Erwin had jumped to his feet and put his hand on Levi's cheek. He remembered watching Erwin's eyes tear up as he started crying right there beside his bed, the vague feeling in his numb fingers of Erwin holding onto his hand tightly.

Levi took a deep breath, closing his eyes as he forcibly stopped the memory there. It was making him emotional. He felt like a horrible person, making his husband worry about him the way he was. After everything he had put Erwin through.

Hamlet pressed up against his leg and Levi startled, looking down at the cat. A droplet fell from Levi's eye and he wiped both with the back of his hand, sniffling wetly and bending over to pat him.

He would have given anything for Erwin to be home with him then.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He decided to head outside to do some gardening for a while. The methodical work on his roses tended to relax him, and he figured he needed that right about now.

Thick gardening gloves covered his hands as he knelt in the grass, un-potting plants and burying them in the dark soil. He dug up weeds, admiring his beautiful roses as he used a spade to thrust at any particular stubborn weeds that couldn't take a hint.

He unearthed more soil, trying to get to the roots, when a glint of something beneath the dirt caught his eye. He leaned forward, putting down the spade and using his hands to reach in deep beneath the dark soil.

Whatever it was, it was metal, and flashed at him in the sunlight. Levi frowned, grasping the handful of dirt around it awkwardly and pulling it out. It was small and plastered in dirt, and a long, dark string trailed out behind it. He opened his hand, looking at the handful of dirt he brought with him.

It was a key.

Levi frowned down at it, using his other hand to sweep away the dirt and rub at the metal. It looked like it was supposed to be gold, and only when he held it up to the sun did he realize that the brown string was actually looped through it.

A key on a necklace.

It glinted against the sun as Levi held it up, squinting. What the hell had it been doing buried deep beneath his rose garden? It didn't belong to him. Was it Erwin's? It seemed important; people generally didn't put things around their necks unless it was very important to keep it on their bodies at all times. What could the key possibly open that was so important?

Levi shrugged, quickly losing interest and rolling the string and key into a ball and stuffing it into his pocket. He would ask Erwin about it later.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Levi came into the bathroom a few hours later, considerably more relaxed after admiring his roses and ready to clean up his mess. He put his hands on his hips as he stared at the ouija board and candle in the middle of the floor. He sighed loudly as he thought of what had happened with Hanji. What had he been expecting, anyway? He shook his head as if to forget it all. He bent down, moving the candle to the edge of the bathtub where it came from.

He packed the ouija board back into its box, huffing at the stupid toy and picking it up along with the small table, carrying it out of the bathroom. He switched off the light and closed the door behind him.

He came out into his and Erwin's bedroom, putting the table back in the corner of the room and looking around for a place to put the ouija board. He wasn't going to throw it out, but he didn't exactly want Erwin to find it by accident, either. How would he explain that, anyway?

He shook his head at the notion, going over to one of his drawers of clothes and burying the box at the bottom; piling his own clothes on top until he could no longer see it. He straightened back up again, ready to go back downstairs, when he glanced over to the closed door to the bathroom.

There was steam coming from inside, rising lazily from the crack.

Levi froze, stiffening and staring hard at the closed door. His jaw clenched, body tensing as his mind swam.

_It's happening again_

_Why is this happening to me?_

_I was just in there a fucking second ago_

And the most prominent thought:

_What if this is all in my head?_

Levi took slow steps towards the door, hands clenched at his sides. His heart was thudding in his chest as he pressed his hands against the wood and pushed. The door creaked open, and Levi stepped into the warm bathroom and switched on the light.

It was just like last time.

The bathroom was filled with warm, hazy steam, and he heard his own breathing in his ears as he forced his feet forward, mirroring his actions from last time. He approached the bathtub, hands out in front of him and knowing what he would find. The steam parted and he peered into the tub, not surprised when he saw that it was filled to the brim with water. He breathed noisily through his open mouth as he stared at the water an arms length away from him, unable to think straight.

_This can't be all in my head._

It felt too real. He could feel the warm steam on his skin, he could see the tub right in front of him, the water so still. His eyes darted across the surface, watching the steam rise hotly.

There was a mirror to his left above the sink, and Levi caught movement in his peripherals, of someone walking past. He heard his breath intake sharply, snapping his body towards the mirror. It was fogged up from the steam, and he pressed his trembling hand against the glass, wiping it with his palm.

He stared back at himself through his reflection, pale face and bloodshot eyes. There was no one with him; just the white walls staring back. He was panting loudly, fogging up the glass with his own heavy breaths and the sound of his own heart thudding in his ears. His head snapped back to the bathtub when he saw something moving in the water - a dark head of hair - but as he leaned in towards it, it was gone.

His body shook as he paused, staring into the water with his mouth open. He straightened back up, turning around and his eyes darted around the white, empty bathroom, searching for the presence he knew was there with him.

His face scrunched in anger, confusion, exhaustion; so many emotions at once. Why was he being fucked with like this? Why him? He couldn't fucking doing this anymore. He didn't know if it was all in his head, but it sure as _fuck_ felt real. His therapist's words ran through his mind and he opened his mouth, baring his teeth in desperation as he yelled into the empty bathroom,

_"What the fuck do you **want**?!"_

His voice broke, fists clenched and shaking. The white, white walls of his bathroom felt like they were closing in around him.

Movement in the corner of his eye drew his wide, terror-filled eyes to the fogged-up mirror.

Messy, scribbled words were appearing in the steam, being written on the mirror as Levi watched in fascinated horror, unable to take his eyes away.

 

 

 

**_for  you  to  remember_ **

 

 

 

The words appeared slowly, jumping off the mirror, and Levi felt like they were being imprinted in his mind like tattoos, seared into his brain.

_Remember?_

_Remember what?_

Water droplets slid down from the letters, and the words were fading slowly as steam fogged over the glass.

Levi's chest hurt with how hard he was breathing, taking trembling steps back as he stared. He brought his arms up around his body as if he was trying to keep it in one piece. He forced his feet to move, bolting out of the bathroom and down the stairs, tripping over his own feet as his breath came out hitching.

He reached the bottom of the stairs, bare feet slipping across the tiles and hair whipping in his face. He needed a phone, something, _anything_ and he ran into Erwin's office, fumbling with the things on his desk.

He froze when Erwin's computer switched to life, turning his head towards the screen in horror as words began appearing on the screen, over and over, over and over, until its entirety was covered in text.

 

 

 

REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER 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REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER REMEMBER

 

 

 

 

 

 

Levi stormed through Erwin's workplace, ignoring the curious glances he received from the many employees. His hair was a horrible bird's nest on his head, face pale as a sheet as he marched through the building towards his husband's office.

He wrenched the door to Erwin's workspace open, and his husband looked up surprisedly from where he was seated at his desk, surrounded in paperwork. He blinked at Levi from behind his reading glasses and opened his mouth, but Levi didn't let him speak.

"He's dead."

Erwin frowned, "Who's dead?"

Levi bared his teeth and his voice broke as he yelled, "You fucking _know_ who's dead!" A lump was in his throat and his eyes watered, hands raking through his hair.

Erwin was blinking at him slowly, forehead creasing as he said lowly, "Is this the Jaeger thing, again?"

Levi's breath hitched, desperate. _"Listen to me."_ He sounded like he was begging, _please, don't look at me like that, like I'm crazy; please, just listen to me_. "He killed him and I'm not fucking crazy!" His voice was hysterical and pleading, "Hanji and I had a seance in the bathroom, and n-nothing happened but when I went back he was fucking _there_. He _was!_ " He was babbling like a mad man, hands trembling and voice shaking around his words. He pressed his face into his hands, choking on a sob as he tried to blink away the hysterical tears. He raked his hair away from his face as he paced back and forth in front of Erwin's desk.

"Wait," Erwin was frowning, taking in the information as he put his papers down roughly. "You had a seance?"

Levi had his fingers pressed against his lips as he nodded stiffly, looking to his husband.

Erwin took his reading glasses off, pinching the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "What, are you... angry at me or something?!"

Levi blinked confusedly, asking breathily, "...What?"

Erwin leaned back in his chair, and Levi recognized the restrained anger on his face, his eyes exhausted. "Maybe you resent how busy I've been lately."

Levi felt the lump in his throat, sniffing wetly, _"No!"_

 _I love you,_ he wanted to say. _I know how busy and stressed you are. Please, just listen._

Erwin leaned forward in his chair, and Levi felt his lip quiver at the fierceness in his husband's eyes. "You _know_ what I've got at stake for this. How important this work is to me."

Levi's breath hitched on another sob, feeling small and so very, very alone. He wrung his fingers together, the cuts beneath his band-aids opening up and stinging. But he couldn't feel them at all.

Erwin tone was vicious, "It's like you're trying to sabotage me. To hurt me!"

He was stressed and exhausted; Levi knew he was, but his words still hurt. They cut into Levi and made him feel like a child who had misbehaved. Who had been misbehaving for a while now, and Erwin couldn't deal with it anymore, at the end of his rope.

Anger bubbled up and he stomped up to Erwin's desk, slamming his hands down on the wood. "This isn't. About. _You!_ " His eyes were wild as he yelled, "Something is happening to me! And it's not to get even with you, or some fucked up bid for attention!" He sobbed on the words, voice hoarse, _"Something is happening in our fucking house!"_

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
Levi looked so afraid in that moment, that Erwin regretted his own words immediately after he said them. The blond's face contorted with worry as he watched his husband tear up in desperation.

Levi shook his head and turned around abruptly to leave his office, and Erwin jumped to his feet, feeling terrible. He had been too busy to think much of his husband's actions this past week. Levi was often lonely and fought for Erwin's attention; he knew that well and usually found it endearing. But he was stressed, pissed off at everything, and he had dismissed everything Levi said as worthless, calling him an attention-seeker. He hadn't meant it. He shouldn't have said it.

He stopped Levi from leaving, putting his hand on his shoulder and trying to embrace him, but Levi flinched, pushing him off. His eyes were wide, face so pale, lips bleeding from being bitten over and over.

"Levi..." Erwin began softly, but Levi's eyes were so cold when they looked at him.

_"Don't."_

"Darling, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have said any of that; I didn't mean it. But you're overreacting. You just need to calm down. _Talk_ to me."

" _Don't_ tell me how to fucking _react!_ You look at me like I'm crazy sometimes, and you know what? Maybe I fucking am!"

Erwin shook his head, wanting to tell him _no, I would never think_ _that_ but Levi continued.

"But what if I'm not?! What if he _died_?! Some horrible death?! And I did _nothi_ -"

Erwin wrapped his arms around him, trying to reassure him, but Levi had suddenly stopped talking. He was staring over Erwin's shoulder, out through the glass doors at something outside.

Erwin frowned, pulling away to look at his husband's face while stroking his cheek. "Lee? What's wrong?" He followed Levi's gaze behind him, and finally saw what Levi was looking at.

Jean Kirschtein had just finished working late, upstairs on Erwin's floor and saying goodbye to a friend.

Erwin heard Levi breathe out hard through his mouth, muttering, "That piece of shit."

And before he could stop him, Levi pulled himself away from Erwin roughly. He pushed through the glass doors, eyes dark and unmoving from Kirschtein's form.


	6. He Doubts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The truth about Eren is revealed, but it doesn't actually make Levi any less confused. His memories from last year begin to slowly be brought back up.

Jean stood in the smoking area, watching people walk past as he tapped a lit cigarette against the outdoor ashtray, before bringing it back up to his lips.

Levi marched towards him, eyes dark and dangerous, and jerked him roughly by the shoulder. _"You."_

Jean let out a squeak of surprise, dropping his cigarette and looking down at Levi; thoroughly intimidated despite the height difference.

"You think you're smart, don't you, you _fuck_ ," Levi spat. Erwin caught up to Levi, panting too hard to say anything to stop his husband. "You think you fucking got away with it." The people around them were looking over at them curiously, at the scene he was making. "I know you fucking killed him, you murdering son of a _bitch!_ "

Jean blinked at Levi with wide, afraid eyes, hands up against his chest as if he could somehow protect himself that way if Levi started swinging punches. "Who?" he blurted, voice a pathetic squeak.

Levi faltered and his face dropped - Jean looked so confused - but he recovered immediately. "Don't give me that shit!" He felt a lump form in his throat, forcing a sob down. _"Your fucking fiance!"_

Erwin looked exasperated, cutting in between them and leaning towards Jean - who was looking utterly disoriented - and apologizing softly, "I'm sorry, he's very upset. Forgive us, please."

The crowd around them was staring blatantly, gathered to watch the spectacle.

It slowly began to part as someone pushed their way through.

A very much alive Eren Jaeger approached Jean, looking down at the bags of fast food he was holding. "Babe, I couldn't find that stupid healthy shit you wanted, so I just got us burg-...ers..." Eren's sentence trailed off awkwardly as he looked up, finally noticing the spectacle he was in the middle of. He swiveled his head back and forth, looking around puzzledly.

Jean's eyes were wide as he grabbed Eren by the arm. Eren almost tripped as Jean pulled him roughly towards himself, saying to Levi uncertainly, "I didn't... kill my fiance, Mr. Smith..."

Levi stared.

There was a buzzing in his ears, slowly getting louder.

He could hear himself wheezing, trying to bring oxygen into his lungs.

He stared at Eren - the young man perfectly safe and alive and in front of him, blinking his bright, green eyes in confusion.

Levi couldn't breathe, fingers numb and trembling, head a wild mess of rattled thoughts.

Eren was just blinking those fucking green eyes at him curiously like he didn't understand what was going on. Levi wanted to scream, _I'm the one who doesn't **fucking** understand_ , but his mouth just opened and closed, nothing coming out.

He must have looked terrible, because Jean - the kid that _always_ looked uncomfortable - was looking at him with such genuine worry on his face, asking, "Are you alright?"

But it didn't register, the sound of his voice muffled in Levi's mind as he just stared, back and forth between the young couple, breath hitching pathetically.

Erwin put his arm gently around him, apologizing softly to the young men again. "Come on, honey," he whispered to Levi, trying to steer them away as the crowd around them had already began to disperse. But Levi was stiff, just staring at Eren with wide, confused eyes, and Erwin whispered again, "Lee, it's alright. Let's go."

Levi didn't remember Erwin leading him to the car and taking him home.

All he remembered was the confused look on Eren Jaeger's face, and the bright green of his eyes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

  
A week later, and Levi was back in Armin's office. He stared down at the floor, lip between his teeth as he sat very still, mind elsewhere.

Armin watched his patient carefully, fingers laced in front of him. The older man wasn't moving, completely out of it, and the young therapist stared at him thoughtfully. He leaned forward in his armchair, tapping Levi on the knee very gently, so as not to startle him. But Levi jumped anyway, eyes coming back into focus as he sat up straighter in his seat.

Armin eyed the bird's nest on his head, the dark bags beneath his eyes, the paleness of his face. "Are you alright?"

Levi nodded a little too quickly for Armin to believe it was the truth. "I'm fine."

The therapist studied Levi's posture carefully, the way he wrung his hands together, lips bitten until they bled. "What happened? Just now."

"Oh, I just..." Levi ran a hand through his hair, staring at the floor. "I saw Erwin's face. He was so... fucking frightened for me."

Armin paused, thinking. "...How's your marriage?"

Levi looked up at him. His tone was genuine and tired. "It's good. Really good. We've had our moments, I guess... but he's a perfect husband." Armin nodded, just waiting for him to continue. Levi swallowed, looking down at his hands. "I mean, he can be obsessed with his work. And sometimes it's like... um..." he paused, "that he doesn't see me. At all."

Armin smiled gently. Levi looked so exhausted, like he felt guilty for having feelings. "That can't feel good."

Levi snorted, looking a bit sad. "No."

Armin steepled his fingers. "And the sex?"

Levi blinked at him incredulously.

"You don't have to go into detail," the blond laughed. "Is it enjoyable for you? Are you able to climax?"

"Yes," Levi monotoned, looking ruffled. "It's fucking _enjoyable_. I love my husband's cock."

Armin laughed louder. "Good. That's good. I'm happy to hear that. You'd be surprised how many married couples aren't satisfied with their sex life." He eyed his patient, watching him stare at the floor. "You said you feel like he doesn't see you sometimes. Have you told him this?"

"...Not really."

"Why is that?"

"...It's not that big a deal. I know he loves me; that's all that matters."

Levi thought of Erwin's face again, the way he had kissed Levi after the incident with Eren and Jean, taking him home and assuring him everything would be okay. Levi was exhausted, tired of his own insanity. But Erwin made everything alright.

Armin stared at him thoughtfully for a long moment. "...Do you ever feel like he's hiding things from you?"

Levi blinked. _That's a strange question_. "Not really."

Armin nodded, staring into him, expression unreadable.

Levi stared. "I'm fine. Really. I've just had some kind of... empty-nest episode, where I saw some things that weren't there." He sniffed. "Let's deal with that. I'm willing to deal with that."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Levi parked his car in his driveway, walking slowly over to his front door, staring down at his feet. He felt so drained.

He froze when he saw a fancy gift bag on his doorstep, bending down slowly to look at it. There was a card attached, and he flipped it open.

 

 _Thought you could use these_  
_Farlan <3_

 

Levi snorted, murmuring, _ah shit_. Knowing Farlan, it would be something ridiculous.

He reached into the bag, pulling out a thick book along with a rectangular box. He saw immediately that the box was a large pink dildo, and he snorted in both laughter and shock, quickly shoving it back inside the gift-bag.

He looked at the thick book instead, studying the cover. It was black with gold cursive at the top.

 

_Spiritualism, Ghosts and Reincarnation_

 

He froze. He pulled the book out properly, frowning down at it as he stood up. He flicked through, glancing briefly at the illustrations throughout the book.

"Mr. Smith?" a voice came from behind him. Levi turned around quickly, seeing Eren Jaeger walking towards him as he spoke. "No, uh... Ackerman? Smith. Uh I'm just..." Eren took a deep breath. "Shit, I just want to apologize for scaring the shit out of you the way I did. When I thought about how that must have _looked_..."

"Oh fuck," Levi breathed, waving his hand in the air. He was so fucking embarrassed. "No, it's fine, let's just..."

_Let's just start over._

Eren smiled genuinely, looking like he understood.

"Levi Ackerman-Smith." Levi extended a hand towards him. "Whichever's fine."

The young man shook his hand with a grin. "Eren Jaeger."

Levi stared at the young man's face for a moment, at the green of his eyes. It was so strange, seeing his face up-close - in reality, not just in his insane imagination. But he snapped himself out of it quickly. _Don't stare, you idiot._ "Do you, uh... want a cup of coffee, or something?"

Eren's eyes shone. "That'd be great."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

They sat at the table outside in Levi's backyard, and Eren sipped at his mug.

"That day at the fence, you seemed... fucking terrified." Levi thought for a moment. His eyes widened suddenly. "Fuck, did I imagine that, too?"

Eren shook his head quickly, assuring him. "No."

Levi breathed out in relief, eyeing the boy carefully. "What were you so afraid of?"

Eren looked at him, lowering his mug and placing it on the table. His eyes looked slightly glazed over, biting his lip like he was mulling something over in his mind.

Like he was deciding on whether to tell him something or not.

Levi waited for a long moment, for the young man to finally open his mouth. "...Do you..." His voice sounded different, hushed and unsure, "...believe in... reincarnation?"

A silence.

Levi had not expected that. "What."

Eren swallowed, looking down at his hands. "...Like... the feeling that you've loved someone before."

Levi frowned confusedly. What the hell was he talking about.

Eren looked up at Levi, bright green looking right through him. He looked so raw, like everything had been stripped away, just leaving the very barest behind. "I've loved Jean before. I know I have," Eren said softly. "I was so... overwhelmed by these _fucking... memories_ that aren't mine. Of loving him and arguing with him, of being... _eaten_..." His eyes looked glassy as his chest rose and fell, breath hitching. "I couldn't even be apart from him. I'd go into the garden, and just... couldn't breathe. The memories would just..."

Levi wasn't sure how to respond.

_Memories?_

Eren swallowed, sniffing. "I tried to leave him. I got my mum to come all the way here to pick me up while he was out. But he, um... Jean brought all my shit up in the middle of the night, during a fucking rainstorm. Just for me. He was begging me to come home."

Levi looked down at his hands, feeling so much shame.

He felt like such an idiot.

Seeing Jean in the middle of the night during a rainstorm, putting a bag in his car in a rush. Eren's car not moving from their property. The scattered men's clothes, upturned furniture, remnants of them fighting. Jean not wanting to talk about Eren, drinking his misery away.

"I really do love him." Eren's voice was soft. "You must think I'm pathetic."

Levi shook his head. "No, I really don't."

The kid was obviously suffering from something psychological. Jean was a good guy; Levi felt bad for accusing him.

Eren looked slightly unhinged, reminding Levi of how he looked that day at the fence. The young man muttered softly, "At least _he's_ gone now. But sometimes, I wish I never remembered. "

Levi stared at him, worry evident on his face.

_He?_

Eren was sounding a bit unstable. Levi thought back to his own insane episodes, reminding himself quickly that he wasn't really one to talk.

The young man continued, voice low. "Two lives worth of memories... Two lives worth of love for someone is just... _suffocating_."

Levi breathed deeply, not taking his eyes off the boy. _The photo-frame_ , his mind told him. _His beloved one-armed Erwin_. And before he realized, he had blurted, "One life's worth is overwhelming enough?"

Eren's eyes cleared, focusing on Levi's face like he had just now noticed Levi sitting there. His eyes were so green as he smiled airily. _"Exactly."_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Levi pulled his husband into bed as soon as he got home from work, kneeling over so Erwin could fuck him from behind.

The blond had his hand on the back of Levi's neck - like he owned him - and Levi's thighs trembled uncontrollably as he moaned into his pillow. His cock was leaking, making a wet puddle on the sheets between his legs, and Erwin thrust his hips just right, making Levi whimper and bite down.

Erwin whispered his name in his ear, bruising his hips with his fingers. Levi choked on a moan as he clutched at his husband's right arm, _one life's worth is overwhelming enough_ , squirting hotly onto the sheets.

Erwin climaxed right after him, pressing himself deep inside. He wrapped his arms around Levi afterwards, stroking his hair and kissing him.

Levi thought of Eren, how pointlessly scared he had been for the boy's life.

Their strange conversation in the garden, how unstable Eren had seemed.

The message on the mirror, the computer screen covered in text.

His accusations towards Jean, how he had ignored even his own husband.

_Everything was just in your head._

Levi pressed his nose into his husband's neck, breathing out against his skin, _I'm sorry._

Erwin shook his head firmly, whispering  _I love you_ into his hair.  _Everything will be okay_.

Levi closed his eyes, and trusted.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Levi went with Erwin to his company's work party later that night. They wore suits as they walked up the steps to the building where it was hosted.

Levi didn't want to be here.

He was just so tired, utterly drained from the last few weeks. He hadn't told Erwin about the odd conversation with Eren in the garden earlier. He wasn't sure what he would tell him. _Hey, Erwin honey, the kid next door is crazy. I am, too, by the way._

His mind just felt completely blank, ever since he saw Eren and Jean that night.

Maybe he was having his mid-life crisis.

"Um... Erwin..."

"Hm?"

"What's... the wife's name again? I can't... um..." He rubbed his temple, struggling to remember the names of the hosts. He _knew_ their name, he was sure that he did, but simple memories like these had all been muddled since the accident.

"It's Petra, darling." Erwin put an arm around his husband's shoulders. "Oluo and Petra Bossard."

Levi nodded, and they entered the building, greeting the couple at the door.

"Evening, Oluo, Petra," Erwin greeted with a professional smile, shaking their hands.

Levi smiled strainedly. "Hi. Nice to see you both again."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Erwin was talking important business with his work colleagues, so Levi wandered around the large house, gulping down champagne. He eyed the guests around him warily, tipping his glass back and finishing it quickly. Fuck, he really needed another one.

Classical music played as the guests chattered around him, and he continued slowly on. He glanced up and recognized Jean and Eren at the end of the hallway, wearing suits. They were standing by the wall, pressed close to each other. Jean looked drunk, the two of them looking flirty and intimate.

Eren glanced up, noticing Levi, and the young man smiled genuinely and waved. Levi waved back, seeing Jean look over to him. As soon as he saw Levi, his hands flew to Eren's neck, pretending to choke his fiance with a cheeky laugh. Eren immediately jabbed him hard in the stomach, throwing Levi an apologetic smile. Jean clutched his stomach, giving Levi a drunkenly good-natured grin.

Levi pursed his lips with a nod, turning towards the next room.

Fucking horse-face.

Levi felt idiotic enough already. He didn't need the reminder that he was fucking insane. His mind told him that enough every day.

He glanced to his right and saw Erwin with some colleagues, getting their picture taken. His husband looked over to him, smiling apologetically, and Levi just shook his head. _I'm fine. I can entertain myself. Don't worry about me._

Levi approached the bar. "White wine, thanks."

The bartender handed him his glass, just as he heard a voice ask, "How are you holding up?"

He snapped his head to the side, seeing Petra approach him with a smile.

"Uh, fine. It's a... nice party." He took a large gulp of his wine.

"Mr. Smith was telling me your house is finally finished. The other Mr. Smith."

"...Yeah, almost," he nodded.

"That's great!" She smiled, pausing. "It's really nice to see you doing so well."

"Uh... Thank you."

"I was really worried," Petra continued genuinely. "I don't think I've seen you since the reception here last year."

Levi blinked confusedly. "You were... worried?"

The young woman's eyes widened. "Oh, god... I'm doing that nosy thing again." She rolled her eyes at her own behavior. "You know, Oluo tells me all the time that I need to-..."

Levi interrupted her. "No, I... I'm just not sure what you mean."

Petra's eyes were earnest. "...You got so upset."

"At the... party?"

"The reception last year. Do you remember?"

"Well, I remember the party, but I..." Levi looked down, searching his memories. His eyes suddenly widened. "Oh, shit. I'd completely forgotten." He looked back at Petra. "I dropped your crystal."

Petra shook her head, waving a hand in the air. "Oh, it's fine. It was a cheap wine glass from the caterers." She stared at him carefully. "But you just went _completely_ pale. You couldn't catch your breath. It was like you had seen a ghost, or something."

Levi looked over at her quickly, furrowing his brows in confusion.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a short update. We are nearing the end, friends.
> 
> I haven't forgotten about the blood-stained shirt, or the key. The identity of the 'he' that Eren mentioned. It will all be explained soon.


End file.
